4.9 Amanda Unplugged

Things are just getting wilder and wilder. And we're not just referring to the actor who played Reed Carter / Adam Louder!

Amanda is standing vigil at Jack's bedside, reasonably confusing the nurse into believing that Amanda is praying for a speedy recovery. Instead, Amanda whispers death threats in his ear, considers pulling the plug, and beats Jack until he dies, leaving Sydney in the doorway to make it clear that she's here to enter the main event plot and blackmail Amanda, while wearing a stunning hat.

The in-law relationships continue to be messed up. Jake sleeps with Shelly while Jo walks in at the same time Alison continues to sleep with Billy's father-in-law. They've moved in, as you'll remember, and Alison sneaks into a shrine room to Haley's ex-wife. It makes no sense, so let's just move on. But not before we relish the line delivery of Kristen Davis to Alison: "I'd like a progress report on my father's account." "How do you like living in my house?"

Kimberly is now FULLY sane. Nothing to worry about there. Nothing to see here. She just numbs her hand with a bucket of ice, takes a shot of whiskey, and CRUSHES HER HAND IN A WAFFLE IRON to get her bracelet off. When she later is asked by none other than DOCTOR JOYCE BROTHERS, she explains she had an ironing accident. Also, this crushed hand is being treated only by an ace bandage. Okay.

Matt is back to his social causes t-shirt, this time celebrating the Tanqueray AIDS ride. He's back in medical school, which remains a terrible plot hole, but didn't pass his test. Except Dr. Michael Mancini returns the falsified records favor and changes Matt's failing 498 into a passing 502.

There's some shenanigans happening with Richard. He is taking Jane and Jo to Hawaii, then ships Jane off to New York, and tells Jo that he wouldn't mind a little romance. Bad boss. Jo tells him off, and goes to reunite with Jake, who doesn't stop from sleeping with his dead brother's wife just because his girlfriend walks in.

And that, my friends, is Melrose Place.

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