The Ezra Klein Show

Boundaries, Burnout and the 'Goopification' of Self-Care


Listen Later

Love it or hate it, self-care has transformed from a radical feminist concept into a multibillion-dollar industry. But the wellness boom doesn’t seem to be making a dent in Americans’ stress levels. In 2021, 34 percent of women reported feeling burned out at work, along with 26 percent of men.

Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a psychiatrist, has observed how wellness culture fails her patients, who she says are often burned out because of systemic failures, from the stresses that come with financial precariousness to the lack of paid family leave. In her book “Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included),” she encourages people to look beyond superficial fixes — the latest juice cleanses, yoga workshops, luxury bamboo sheets — to feel better. Instead, she argues that real self-care requires embracing internal work, which she outlines as four practices: setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, aligning your values and exercising power. Lakshmin argues that when you practice real self-care, you not only take care of yourself, but you can also plant the seeds for change in your community.

In this conversation, the guest host, Tressie McMillan Cottom, and Lakshmin discuss how the pandemic opened up a larger conversation about parental burnout; how countries with more robust social safety nets frame care as a right, not a benefit; why it’s fair to understand burnout as a type of societal “betrayal”; how to practice boundary-setting and why it can feel uncomfortable to do so; the convenient allure of “faux self-care”; and more.

This episode was hosted by Tressie McMillan Cottom, a columnist for Times Opinion, a professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, and the author of “Thick: And Other Essays.” Cottom also writes a newsletter for Times Opinion that offers a sociologist’s perspective on culture, politics and the economics of our everyday lives.

Mentioned:

More information about Ezra’s Jefferson Memorial Lecture

We Don’t Need Self-Care; We Need Boundaries” by Pooja Lakshmin

How Society Has Turned Its Back on Mothers” by Pooja Lakshmin

Our Obsession With Wellness Is Hurting Teens — and Adults” by The Ezra Klein Show with Lisa Damour

A Legendary World Builder on Multiverses, Revolution and the ‘Souls’ of Cities” by The Ezra Klein Show with N.K. Jemisin

Book Recommendations:

Living Resistance by Kaitlin B. Curtice

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Lisa Damour

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin

Thoughts? Guest suggestions? Email us at [email protected].

You can find transcripts (posted midday) and more episodes of “The Ezra Klein Show” at nytimes.com/ezra-klein-podcast, and you can find Ezra on Twitter @ezraklein. Book recommendations from all our guests are listed at https://www.nytimes.com/article/ezra-klein-show-book-recs.

This episode of “The Ezra Klein Show” was produced by Kristin Lin. Fact-checking by Michelle Harris. The senior engineer is Jeff Geld. The senior editor is Annie-Rose Strasser. The show’s production team includes Emefa Agawu and Rollin Hu. Original music by Isaac Jones. Audience strategy by Kristina Samulewski and Shannon Busta. The executive producer of New York Times Opinion Audio is Annie-Rose Strasser. Special thanks to Sonia Herrero.

Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

The Ezra Klein ShowBy New York Times Opinion

  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5

4.5

11,517 ratings


More shows like The Ezra Klein Show

View all
The Book Review by The New York Times

The Book Review

3,868 Listeners

Popcast by The New York Times

Popcast

1,446 Listeners

Fresh Air by NPR

Fresh Air

38,215 Listeners

The Political Scene | The New Yorker by WNYC Studios and The New Yorker

The Political Scene | The New Yorker

3,893 Listeners

The New Yorker Radio Hour by WNYC Studios and The New Yorker

The New Yorker Radio Hour

6,593 Listeners

Modern Love by The New York Times

Modern Love

8,747 Listeners

Pivot by New York Magazine

Pivot

8,865 Listeners

Inside The Times by The New York Times

Inside The Times

133 Listeners

The Gray Area with Sean Illing by Vox

The Gray Area with Sean Illing

10,641 Listeners

The Run-Up by The New York Times

The Run-Up

2,067 Listeners

Pod Save America by Crooked Media

Pod Save America

86,220 Listeners

The Daily by The New York Times

The Daily

111,334 Listeners

Change Agent by The New York Times

Change Agent

1,466 Listeners

Caliphate by The New York Times

Caliphate

12,630 Listeners

Charm City by The New York Times

Charm City

299 Listeners

Interesting Times with Ross Douthat by New York Times Opinion

Interesting Times with Ross Douthat

6,645 Listeners

The Bulwark Podcast by The Bulwark

The Bulwark Podcast

11,449 Listeners

The Latest by The New York Times

The Latest

469 Listeners

The Candidates by The New York Times

The Candidates

52 Listeners

Jungle Prince by The New York Times

Jungle Prince

2,289 Listeners

The Choice by New York Times Opinion

The Choice

380 Listeners

Rabbit Hole by The New York Times

Rabbit Hole

6,670 Listeners

Hard Fork by The New York Times

Hard Fork

5,351 Listeners

Day X by The New York Times

Day X

1,495 Listeners

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart by Comedy Central

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

10,253 Listeners

Offline with Jon Favreau by Crooked Media

Offline with Jon Favreau

2,205 Listeners

The Interview by The New York Times

The Interview

1,444 Listeners

The Run-Up (2016) by The New York Times

The Run-Up (2016)

7 Listeners

On with Kara Swisher by Vox Media

On with Kara Swisher

3,154 Listeners

The Argument by New York Times Opinion

The Argument

16 Listeners

The Opinions by The New York Times Opinion

The Opinions

383 Listeners

The Run-Up Guide to 2024 by The New York Times

The Run-Up Guide to 2024

0 Listeners