BOUNDARIES: “How to Have Tact with a Suitor You Don’t Want to See”

What do we do when we have to say NO to a person who wants to say YES to us? This is a delicate issue, in that we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and yet we need to set boundaries. Today's special guest, Heidi Selexa, host of her own radio show "Out of the Friend Zone." was on to talk about dating, boundaries, and potential mates who are "way out of bounds" and won't take NO for an answer. From married men who hit on women, to men who hit on women who are "taken" and vice versa, there are obvious situations where NO means NO! For every man who keeps up inappropriate pursuit behavior, there is a woman with enough low self esteem to take him up on his offer. Why do women date men who are clearly takers? It goes back to the wounds of childhood. We repeat patterns that were blueprinted into us during the first few years of life. If we had poor parental role models, we may be copying bad patterns that hurt us today. Essential to healthy choices is to work on our self. If we concentrate on dismantling our negative core beliefs about ourselves, core beliefs like we are not enough, or not lovable, or not important, we will easily fall prey to people who mirror our core beliefs. This work enables us to heal so that we don't fall into dysfunctional patterns. At the end of the day, I believe that people need to be told the truth, especially when it comes to dating. A simple "I don't think we are a romantic match" will do. This frees up the person to move on and not hang on to false hope. However you say NO, stay kind and respectful. Stay humane. There is no reason to be hurtful. Today we Shrunk the Tune, "Scrubs," by TLC