In chapter 21 of Eclipse, we are unhappy to report that Alice behaves badly with guilt tripping over the wedding. Edward takes Bella on a little walk through the woods while she wipes her hands on things and then her open wound on trees and stuff, how cute! Also Jacob is back with all his audacity and no one is happy about it!

Thanks as always to our wonderful editor, Edward's Hairball. We love you!

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Ep 61 - Eclipse Ch. 21: Jacob is a Boner Killer

One of us has never read Twilight before, and the other is a self-proclaimed expert. Join us in taking a bite out of Twilight for the first time (or come back for your 17th time!) as we go chapter by chapter through the series.

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On this penultimate episode of the book (That's right! Next episode will be the final three chapters!) Bella picks up some important paperwork from our boy J, and then THE GIRLIES ARE HERE. The Volturi are giving us everything, Caius is a little bitch and the guard dogs are out. Mostly they just talk though but Aro is thriving. 

Ep 90 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 35-36: Volturi's Six Inch Nails

Covering chapters 33 and 34 of Breaking Dawn (how are we almost done?) we finally get to see what the hell J Jenks is all about. Bella survives her encounter in the "ghetto" and J sweats sweatily. Somehow we had the exact conversation LAST WEEK about something that happens in these chapters? I guess we're psychic! 

Ep 89 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 33-34: Max is a Blabbermouth

Vampire Avengers Assemble! Today's episode is all our YA dreams with a cool team of hot vampires with special powers. Bella is special and talented and Stephenie Meyer does more racism! Are we even surprised at this point? No of course we aren't. Also why is all the best vampire world lore in the final 10 chapters of the final book?

Ep 88 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 31-32: Smooth Undulations

Juicy plot in this episode! We read chapters 29 and 30 of Breaking Dawn and start unravelling what reason Alice might have had to leave the Cullens with no warning. Bella is... Smart? And now it is time for goo goo gaga special baby zone with Renesmee meeting the extended fam. What is up with her specialness and why does everyone love this little demon baby so much?

Ep 87 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 29-30: Mary Sue Cullen

We cover chapters 27 and 28 today with such excitement of Alice breaking a vase and Em breaking a Cam. Jasper enjoys being happy :) After a timeskip of all the happy peaceful vampire times, shit hits the fan and Cam makes some predictions about what will happen next.

Ep 61 - Eclipse Ch. 21: Jacob is a Boner Killer

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