Unbitten: A Journey Through the Twilight Saga

By Twilight

What's Unbitten: A Journey Through the Twilight Saga about?

One of us has never read Twilight before, and the other is a self-proclaimed expert. Join us in taking a bite out of Twilight for the first time (or come back for your 17th time!) as we go chapter by chapter through the series.

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Unbitten: A Journey Through the Twilight Saga episodes:

05.14.2024
Ep 90 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 35-36: Volturi's Six Inch Nails
On this penultimate episode of the book (That's right! Next episode will be the final three chapters!) Bella picks up some important paperwork from our boy J, and then THE GIRLIES ARE HERE. The Volturi are giving us everything, Caius...
04.23.2024
Ep 89 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 33-34: Max is a Blabbermouth
Covering chapters 33 and 34 of Breaking Dawn (how are we almost done?) we finally get to see what the hell J Jenks is all about. Bella survives her encounter in the "ghetto" and J sweats sweatily. Somehow we had...
04.01.2024
Ep 88 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 31-32: Smooth Undulations
Vampire Avengers Assemble! Today's episode is all our YA dreams with a cool team of hot vampires with special powers. Bella is special and talented and Stephenie Meyer does more racism! Are we even surprised at this point? No of...
03.19.2024
Ep 87 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 29-30: Mary Sue Cullen
Juicy plot in this episode! We read chapters 29 and 30 of Breaking Dawn and start unravelling what reason Alice might have had to leave the Cullens with no warning. Bella is... Smart? And now it is time for goo...
03.04.2024
Ep 86 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 27-28: Happy Jasper
We cover chapters 27 and 28 today with such excitement of Alice breaking a vase and Em breaking a Cam. Jasper enjoys being happy :) After a timeskip of all the happy peaceful vampire times, shit hits the fan and...
02.19.2024
Ep 85 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 25-26: Baja Blasted
For chapters 25-26 of Breaking Dawn, Em and Cam dutifully and viciously rant and rave about Jacob making himself yet again a PROBLEM. Time to isekai in to kill this man and end all of our collective suffering. Take a...
02.05.2024
Ep 84 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 23-24: The Renesmee Period
In this episode of Unbitten we cover chapters 23 and 24 of Breaking Dawn and really just rant almost the entire time. Listen. We're already tired of Jacob's claim over Renesmee and we just want Bella to hold her OWN...
01.09.2024
Ep 83 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 21+22: Loch Ness Monster
WE ARE BACK FOR THE NEW YEAR! In this episode we cover chapters 21 and 22 of Breaking Dawn. We are loving Bella's intro to vampirism! For once she is hot, she is free, she is completely right about everything...
12.04.2023
Ep. 82 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 19+20: Shrimp Colours
In this episode of Unbitten, Cameron and Emily lose their minds! Breaking Dawn chapters 19 and 20, back in Bella's head again and so many questions we want to ask. At least Bella is immediately horny again!
11.13.2023
Ep 81 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 18: How to Milk a Vampire
Chapter 18 of Breaking Dawn aka It's BABY TIME. The most horrific chapter yet, gore and blood and trauma all wrapped up in a little demon baby bundle. But most importantly, how do you milk a vampire?
10.30.2023
Ep 80 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 16+17: Unbitten, Uncut and Unloaded
WE'RE BACK AFTER A SHORT BREAK. Come on we're not actually ending the podcast early. In this episode of Unbitten we are covering chapters 16 and 17, in which Leah is amazing and we are absolutely shipping her with Jacob,...
09.25.2023
Ep 79 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 14+15: End of the Podcast
We cover chapters 14 and 15 of Breaking Dawn in this episode aka the Blonde Joke era. Jacob is a hilarious narrator actually, and Rosalie and Bella are delulu about this baby. Em is triggered about chromosomes again.
09.13.2023
Ep 78 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 12+13: Concept of Unwelcome
In this episode of Unbitten we cover chapters 12 and 13 of Breaking Dawn where we are so so so excited to have Leah join the pack. Justice for Leah Clearwater! Enjoy a rant about chromosomes, Bella getting her blood...
08.28.2023
Ep 77 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 10+11: Don't Piss and Tell
In this episode of Unbitten, we cover chapters 10 and 11 of Breaking Dawn. In other words it's where things really start getting FUN! Jacob tries to convince Bella not to have her demon spawn, we ask logistical questions about...
08.14.2023
Ep 76 - Breaking Dawn Ch 8+9: Furry Allegations
In this episode we cover chapter 8 and 9 of Book 2 of Breaking Dawn. IT'S JACOB TIME. Where the chapter titles are finally interesting and you can feel the icky teen boy oozing off every thought in his head....
07.31.2023
Ep 75 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 6+7: Pro Choice Edward
In these final two chapters of Book 1 of Breaking Dawn, Cameron and Emily talk way too much about vomit on account of Bella's vomiting (sorry). We have some headboard breaking and some sex dream crying in these chapters, haven't...
07.18.2023
Ep 74 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 5: The Birds, The Bees, and The Bruises
ITS THAT CHAPTER. Post sex sulking Edward. The bliss of Bella and the cringe of Edward. The mormon sex talks. One of those episodes where we really get into the religious bias in how they talk about sex.
06.21.2023
Ep 73 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 4: Camstains
Coming to you FROM THE SAME HOME it's us! In this very special episode, Cam travels all the way to visit Em, just to talk more about these silly books. Chapter 4 sees a happy Bella at her wedding, and...
06.05.2023
Ep 72 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 2+3: Do Vampires Tuck
Today we cover both chapter 2 and 3 of Breaking Dawn. The chapters in which Edward has to go to a bachelor party while Bella thinks about bloodthirsty vampire babies and has more incredibly specific dreams, and also in which...
05.22.2023
Ep 71 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 1: Grapefruit Method
WELCOME TO BREAKING DAWN. The beginning of the end of the saga. In this exciting episode we get into why... Stephenie Meyer wrote a good chapter for once? From discussions of Bella's absurd "before" car to excitement for that honeymoon,...
05.08.2023
Ep 70 - Eclipse Movie: Everyone Deserves a Gay Homophobe
It's FINALLY HEREE!!!! And it's a long one!! Join Cam, Em, AND a special hairball guest- our editor- for our Eclipse moie episode! We discuss editor Emily's husband's astute observations, new iconic scenes (bAtTLe sCaRs), Cam's new crush, and more! Thank...
04.17.2023
Ep 69 - Bree Tanner pt 2: Maybe We're Both Stupid!
Cam and Em return once again for more Bree Tanner. We continue to discover how much better S Meyer is at writing shorter books, we begin to stan Fred, and, as always, we question our sanity. Thank you to our editor,...
03.27.2023
Ep. 68 - Bree Tanner pt 1: Squishy Cells
In this episode we cover the first half of the Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. While questioning Stephenie Meyer's ability to write teenagers, we also sit in shock at how this book is somehow... BETTER? If only all her...
02.27.2023
Ep 67 - Eclipse Ch. 27 and Epilogue: Let's Finish This Thing!
Em and Cam are eternally relieved to finally finish another installment of The Twilight Saga! We wrap up this third book with the closest thing SM will get to spice, releasing Alice upon the world of wedding planning, and Jacob's...
02.13.2023
Ep 66 - Eclipse Ch 26: Paging Dr. Fang
On this episode of Unbitten we discuss Chapter 26 of Eclipse. We are so very tired of Jacob and his manipulation and Bella and her guilt. In fact we seem to be pretty tired of this book now that the...
01.31.2023
Ep 65 - Eclipse Ch 25: Vampire Flavored Incense
In a characteristically Stephanie Meyer moment, this book continues to place all its drama in the last 4 chapters. One of our favs (or least favs) is hurt, we get a visit from some old friends from last book, and...
01.13.2023
Ep 64 - Eclipse Ch 24: Milk Bags and Marbles
We are back at it again with more Eclipse! We get into the crazy stuff today, including a final confrontation with a long-established villain, Bella's main character syndrome, and... rocks.
12.26.2022
Ep 63 - Eclipse Ch. 23: Everyone Sucks but Seth
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it's time to listen to an episode where everyone makes bad decisions! We get very angry at Bella and even more angry at Jacob. He really has the audacity. Timestamps for talking about suicide:...
12.13.2022
Ep 62 - Eclipse Ch. 22: The Adventures of Icy Hot
After a bit of a break due to scheduling issues, Em and Cam return for chapter 22 of Eclipse! We discuss jealousy between bros, ponder Jacob's possible foot fetish and confirmed weird fantasies, and return to our roots by dunking...
11.14.2022
Ep 61 - Eclipse Ch. 21: Jacob is a Boner Killer
In chapter 21 of Eclipse, we are unhappy to report that Alice behaves badly with guilt tripping over the wedding. Edward takes Bella on a little walk through the woods while she wipes her hands on things and then her...
10.31.2022
Ep 60 - Eclipse Ch 20: Cam Gets Cancelled
Chapter 20 of Eclipse aka the sexy times chapter (almost) where things get as spicy as they can get for a Mormon-written novel. Truly some unhinged nonsense in this one besties we are just out here saying shit. Rip to...
10.18.2022
Ep 59 - Eclipse Ch. 19: Poptarts are Forever!
Hoo boy! The girls are back with more Twilight fun! Join us as we explore Bella and Edward making a compromise, the absolute DRAMA that is the wolf pack, and the potential for steamy times in a glass house.
10.03.2022
Ep 58 - Eclipse Ch. 18 Jasper Finally Matters
Cam survived her illness so we're finally back with a new episode covering a fun chapter of vampire fighting tactics. Who knew Jasper would suddenly become relevant 3 books into the series and 75% through the book. Thanks as always...
09.05.2022
Ep 57 - Eclipse Ch. 17: Joe's Basement
In chapter 17 of Eclipse we discuss the AUDACITY of Jacob to even show up to this party. Cam makes some more predictions regarding this vampire army. Stay tuned to the very very end of the episode for a delight...
08.15.2022
Ep 56 - Eclipse Ch. 16: Roach Wars
Starting off with a bang for chapter 16 which is funny to say for such an uninteresting chapter. We mostly complain about the pacing because who cares about graduation we certainly don't! However, very important comeback for our fave khaki...
08.01.2022
Ep 55 - Eclipse Ch 15: Jacob is the WORST
Trigger warning: Talk of sexual assault throughout the episode. Join us in episode 55 of Unbitten: Jacob is the WORST aka CHEEKS OUT PISSIN! In this episode, we discuss just how horrid Jacob is in his attempts to win Bella, marvel...
07.18.2022
Ep 54 - Eclipse Ch 14: Deplatform Us
For this week's episode we answer some patron AMAs, then try to dig into what is one of the worst chapters of the book so far because Stephenie Meyer can't write. Have we mentioned we don't think she can write?...
07.04.2022
Ep 53 - Eclipse Ch 13: Piss Man Backstory
Join Em and Cam as we explore Chapter 13 of Eclipse! In this episode, we explore Jasper’s backstory, with all its weird and problematic twists and turns. Also, air conditioner troubles, googling Stephanie Meyer’s place of birth, and more!
06.20.2022
Ep 52 - Eclipse Ch 12: Sour Cream
After a short break we are back and RECORDING IN THE SAME ROOM with live studio audience - Em's girlfriend (perhaps kidnapped and held hostage to finally listen to an episode). This episode covers chapter 12 of Eclipse in which...
05.23.2022
Ep 51 - Eclipse Ch 11: Dismembered Vampire Dick
This is the episode where we get all the old Quileute legends and how the werewolves came to be. More importantly though, this is the episode where S. Meyer's racism shows once again (yaaaay.....). Magical spirit warriors vs potato head...
05.09.2022
Ep 50 - Eclipse Ch 10: Kristen Stewart on a Motorcycle
Welcome back to Unbitten! Join Em and Cam as they simp over Kristen Stewart, make fun of Bella for having no hobbies, and question how Jacob managed to stab himself with a knife.
04.25.2022
Ep 49 - Eclipse Ch 9: Target Haul
After a break for ~Aries Season~ we are back with another episode covering Chapter 9 of Eclipse. In this episode we discuss how Charlie is losing his status as one of our faves and his learned helplessness in taking care...
03.28.2022
Ep 48 - Eclipse Ch 8: Magically Assigned Predator
In this episode of Unbitten, we get the fun (discomfort) of discussing imprinting in more depth because the Quil and Claire thing happened. It's grooming, people! Lock these dogs up we say! We also see the end of Cam's Team...
03.14.2022
Ep 47 - Eclipse Ch 7: Rosalie's Girlboss Moment
Today we cover a heavy but interesting chapter! TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual assault, physical violence, r*pe -- time stamps: 22:15-30:00. Em and Cam discuss Rosalie's tragic backstory and badass revenge, Cam's drunken adventures, and weird sexist author moments. A classic twilight...
02.28.2022
Ep 46 - Eclipse Ch 6: Piss Bottles
In this episode of Unbitten Cam and Em talk romance and dating advice vis a vis blood pendants. Also, once again, who is Austin? It's no surprise we're mad at Edward this chapter but we feel the Alice betrayal big...
02.15.2022
Ep 45 - Eclipse Ch 5: Hiddies, Widdies, and Ciddies
In this episode, Em and Cam discuss chapter five of Eclipse, which includes some CRAZY new lore, a wild Sam x Emily origin story, and another Bella temper tantrum. Also, we answer patron AMAs, discuss the weird sexualization of female...
01.31.2022
Ep 44 - Eclipse Ch 4: What that Vussy Do?
Covering chapter 4 of Eclipse this week, we spend more time making fun of Stephenie Meyer's overall lack of writing skill, from Bella's overly whiny 'worst day ever' to the really lame fridge magnet metaphor. Cam and Em share their...
01.17.2022
Ep 43 - Eclipse Ch 3: Edward's Hairball
We are back after the holidays with Chapter 3 of Eclipse, where we talk about Jacob's height (again), Edward acting like a cat in more ways than one, and many other things ranging from serious to hysterical. Also, as always,...
12.20.2021
Ep 42 - Eclipse Ch 2: Marble Statue Fetish
Jumping into chapter 2 of Eclipse this week, we are right back to being mad at the men in Bella's life. Cam makes some predictions about Alice's secret prediction and Em offers alternatives to making out with Edward - perhaps...
12.06.2021
Ep 41 - Eclipse Preface and Ch 1: Bella Deals With Man-Pain
It feels like years since we started New Moon, but we are finally done and moving on to book 3: Eclipse! Join us as we reiterate Charlie's stupidity and Billy's love of gossip, discuss Jacob's strange epistolary choices, and shit...

What's Unbitten: A Journey Through the Twilight Saga about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

Unbitten: A Journey Through the Twilight Saga episodes:

Ep 90 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 35-36: Volturi's Six Inch Nails

Ep 89 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 33-34: Max is a Blabbermouth

Ep 88 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 31-32: Smooth Undulations

Ep 87 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 29-30: Mary Sue Cullen

Ep 86 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 27-28: Happy Jasper

Ep 85 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 25-26: Baja Blasted

Ep 84 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 23-24: The Renesmee Period

Ep 83 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 21+22: Loch Ness Monster

Ep. 82 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 19+20: Shrimp Colours

Ep 81 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 18: How to Milk a Vampire

Ep 80 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 16+17: Unbitten, Uncut and Unloaded

Ep 79 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 14+15: End of the Podcast

Ep 78 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 12+13: Concept of Unwelcome

Ep 77 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 10+11: Don't Piss and Tell

Ep 76 - Breaking Dawn Ch 8+9: Furry Allegations

Ep 75 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 6+7: Pro Choice Edward

Ep 74 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 5: The Birds, The Bees, and The Bruises

Ep 73 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 4: Camstains

Ep 72 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 2+3: Do Vampires Tuck

Ep 71 - Breaking Dawn Ch. 1: Grapefruit Method

Ep 70 - Eclipse Movie: Everyone Deserves a Gay Homophobe

Ep 69 - Bree Tanner pt 2: Maybe We're Both Stupid!

Ep. 68 - Bree Tanner pt 1: Squishy Cells

Ep 67 - Eclipse Ch. 27 and Epilogue: Let's Finish This Thing!

Ep 66 - Eclipse Ch 26: Paging Dr. Fang

Ep 65 - Eclipse Ch 25: Vampire Flavored Incense

Ep 64 - Eclipse Ch 24: Milk Bags and Marbles

Ep 63 - Eclipse Ch. 23: Everyone Sucks but Seth

Ep 62 - Eclipse Ch. 22: The Adventures of Icy Hot

Ep 61 - Eclipse Ch. 21: Jacob is a Boner Killer

Ep 60 - Eclipse Ch 20: Cam Gets Cancelled

Ep 59 - Eclipse Ch. 19: Poptarts are Forever!

Ep 58 - Eclipse Ch. 18 Jasper Finally Matters

Ep 57 - Eclipse Ch. 17: Joe's Basement

Ep 56 - Eclipse Ch. 16: Roach Wars

Ep 55 - Eclipse Ch 15: Jacob is the WORST

Ep 54 - Eclipse Ch 14: Deplatform Us

Ep 53 - Eclipse Ch 13: Piss Man Backstory

Ep 52 - Eclipse Ch 12: Sour Cream

Ep 51 - Eclipse Ch 11: Dismembered Vampire Dick

Ep 50 - Eclipse Ch 10: Kristen Stewart on a Motorcycle

Ep 49 - Eclipse Ch 9: Target Haul

Ep 48 - Eclipse Ch 8: Magically Assigned Predator

Ep 47 - Eclipse Ch 7: Rosalie's Girlboss Moment

Ep 46 - Eclipse Ch 6: Piss Bottles

Ep 45 - Eclipse Ch 5: Hiddies, Widdies, and Ciddies

Ep 44 - Eclipse Ch 4: What that Vussy Do?

Ep 43 - Eclipse Ch 3: Edward's Hairball

Ep 42 - Eclipse Ch 2: Marble Statue Fetish

Ep 41 - Eclipse Preface and Ch 1: Bella Deals With Man-Pain

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