1626 Lean On God

You know what’s funny about anxiety and panic … it does absolutely no good. It doesn’t help you in any way. It doesn’t get you out any faster. It doesn’t change the situation. And 99% of the time, anxiety and panic really makes no sense at all. In that very moment, you’re really okay. It’s our mind that makes us not okay. Why do we do that?

I’m not a fan of tight spaces. For a girl who just flew 28 hours to get home from Bali, it was a marathon event of mastering my thoughts and managing my urge to scream, “get me the heck out of here.” It’s funny, my car is much smaller than the airplane I was flying in. I don’t panic in my car. But looking down the long tunnel of chairs and feeling the tightness of the ceiling and the emergency door I know I can’t open, just makes my heart do a backflip in my chest.

Let me tell you a little story. While we were in Bali we went on many adventures. It is the land of adventure. You want to hike … girl, best hikes of my life. You want views … they have views that go on forever. You want jungles … well they don’t get any more wild than Bali. My favorite adventure was a day of white water rafting followed by riding ATVs through the jungle. The ATV ride would NEVER happen in the US. Like ever. It was wayyyyy too dangerous. Way too risky. That company wouldn’t be able to afford the liability insurance here. But in Bali, there’s no waiver required, you pay the fee, you put on the boots, and whether you know how to drive or not, you’re plopped on an ATV and told to ride. Literally one driver in our group wrecked in the parking lot within the first 30 seconds. We all just kept going.

The wildest part of the ride came deep in the jungle within the caves. Yes, caves. TIGHT spaces. I’m talking openings that are only 3 inches wider than your ATV and tunnels that go on and on and on. I had no idea how long that cave tunnel was when we first entered. But once you’re in, you gotta just keep going. The faster we went, the better I felt. Finally we were out and I was breathing deep.

We rode through waterfalls and straight down the steepest cliffs. Then we turned around and went back up that steep cliff.

There’s one problem with turning around. I realized we were about to go back through the same darn dark caves we had come through. And there I began mastering my thoughts and managing my urge to scream. Then it got worse. In the cave tunnel, the one that’s only 3 inches larger than the ATV I’m riding, there’s a crash ahead of me. We come to a stand still. And the ATVs pile up behind me. And then it hits me, I’m stuck.

I’m stuck in this dark, tight place and I can’t move forward and I can’t back out. I’m suddenly realizing I’m underground and that cave ceiling is closing in on me.

But, it really wasn’t. That cave ceiling wasn’t falling. I wasn’t running out of air. I was absolutely fine. My anxiety and panic wasn’t helping me, and it didn’t even make sense. It was my mind that made me not okay.

Is it your mind that’s making you not okay? Is it your thoughts about the situation that are making the situation worse?

My sister, God is going to get you through this! He is. You’re not going to be stuck here forever.

There’s a scripture tucked away in Isaiah 50: 10 that is perfect for you in your cave of darkness where your heart is doing backflips of anxiety. “For anyone out there groping in the dark, here’s what you do: Trust in God. Lean on your God.”