What if just 4 minutes a day could improve your relationship with your heartmate. The 2 minute miracle is the subject of our first podcast.

http://www.wefulness.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/WEfulness-001-The-2-Minute-Miracle.mp3

If the player doesn’t show, you can click here to listen: WEfulness 001 – The 2 Minute Miracle

For further information, you can read the article that inspired the broadcast: 2 Minute Miracle by Shane Adamson

—

Transcript

(Please note: The audio is transcribed “as is,” spoken grammar glitches and all.)

Welcome to Wefulness where we discuss the science of profound connection.  I am WEfulness co-director Gregory Blake.  Today we are talking with relationship expert Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen.  Besides being a professional psychologist and licensed counselor, she is also my co-editor and the professional voice at WEfulness.com.

G:  Hi Becca, it’s great to finally get in touch with you.

R:  Oh yeah, it’s so good to talk to you.  I’ve really been looking forward to today.

G:  The reason I wanted to talk to you today was mostly because of something you sent me from a colleague of yours the other day.  I believe the title is “The 2 Minute Miracle” and I was wondering if you could talk first about the issue he was trying to address.

R:  So yes, a colleague of mine, Shane Adamson, wrote up in one of his blogs, “The 2 Minute Miracle”.  He’s really trying to address how couples can work on keeping their connection because what happens when we go throughout the day and throughout our relationship is we can kind of stop putting the kind of energy into it that really keeps it fresh.  And partings and greetings are attachment significant moments.  Really relevant moments in every day that we have in partings and greetings.  So he wrote this little formula called, “The 2 Minute Miracle” – how to spend a couple of minutes every day that’s very significant around attachment moments to build and strengthen the loving relationship.

G:  Where would we see the problem with that?  With our comings and goings of coming together and leaving our partner.  What sorts of things turn into problems in that situation?

R:  Well, we can get a little laissez faire about it; a little too relaxed about it.  Get comfortable with each other, which is really great, but so comfortable that we can kind of run in automatic without making comings and goings a significant part of our day, and they are significant.  Having our loved one come or leave is a significant moment.  I can remember one couple talking about their relationship after 9/11 –   being much more aware in that they didn’t ever want to leave the house if they were distressed with each other.  They wanted to make sure that when they parted, that they had said, “I love you”  – that they had let the other one know how special they are to each other.  So comings and goings are really relevant to our attachment bond and partings especially, and then at reunion, to kind of reconnect.  Make sure that we are back in each other’s forefront; that we are there; that we’re connected; to acknowledge and to embrace each other is really important for keeping that bond fresh.

G:  I can actually relate.  I know for the last year…my marriage is very important to me, I’ve been married for 28 years now, but even for myself, I found coming home from school as a school teacher, I was looking for a little peace and quiet and my initial, until I caught myself doing it, I had developed a habit where I just go almost straight to my den, find a quiet spot and check my email and things.  And it wasn’t very long before I figured out that that was probably not a good thing.  And then I had to say “Hi” to my wife and just check in at the end of the day.  Can you describe what his solution was?  His 2 minute miracle?

R:  Sure, his solution is really similar to what you’re describing, that check in moment.  The [...]