David Goodman and Jeffrey Hatten welcome Frank Esposito to this episode, he is a nationally known senior care expert, who has been in this business for over 30 years.

Today's episode is dedicated to a difficult topic which is the time when we need to decide whether we should take the car keys away from an elderly loved one; sometimes motivated to a danger that has already happened or any other cases trying to prevent an accident that can occur.

Our parents were the ones giving us the keys when we were 16 years old and the time comes when it is our turn to face them with the reality that they are no longer suited to keep on driving, often they won´t agree with us, and that is why David, Jeffrey, and Frank are diving deep into the subject to provide the necessary information for you to prepare yourself and act responsibly and creatively with your loved one. 

Sensory debilitation and loss of mental sharpness, most of the times, are the reasons why it becomes a necessity for a senior to stop driving, Frank shares how introducing Uber to his own father at the right time allowed him to keep his freedom to a certain extent; but technology can turn into a hassle for seniors most of the times, they need us to take the time to really explain how it functions.

Here are some practical tips you can put into action when needed

WHAT TO DO ABOUT TAKING THE CAR KEYS FROM MOM OR DAD

• Be prepared to have multiple conversations.  Don't look upon it as a one-shot deal.
• Start with appropriate conversation openers.  Rather than tell a parent that "you need to stop driving," it is more effective to begin by talking about the importance of safety and health, other options that may be available to help them get around, the dangers of certain road situations, etc.
• Use mishaps or near misses, self-regulation, or health changes as a lead-in.  For example, praising a senior for choosing to limit her driving to day time or discussing how the taking of a new medication may make them sleepier or less alert should be considered.
• Observe the senior at the wheel.  A conversation has far more meaning when the senior's driving is experienced first hand. Studies have shown that people are more willing to listen to those who have driven with them.
• Investigate the alternatives to driving.  Is there a bus or train line?  Are there friends or relatives who can provide them with a ride?  Can the children increase their visits?
• Discuss your concerns with a doctor.   A recommendation to stop driving that comes from the senior's doctor usually carries more weight than when heard from the adult children.  
• If there is initial resistance, suggest that the older adult be tested for an assessment of their driving skills.   
• Be supportive.  Adult children need to understand that this is more than just the loss of their car, but a clear blow to their freedom and independence.  
• What if all these steps fail to get the desired response?  Experts say that if a high-risk driver refuses to stop driving, the family may have no choice but to sell or disable the car or file down the keys.

Mentioned in this episode:

Frank Esposito CSA on Linkedin

Expert Home Care