Hi, and welcome to today’s podcast. I am your host, Gary Monti, publisher of Aurelius Press (aureliuspress.com).

Today’s podcast is the first in a series dealing with the power of humility. We’ll start with how humility is frequently viewed and confused with humiliation.

It would be an understatement to say in today’s world humility is not one of the desired traits needed for taking care of oneself and getting ahead in life. In fact, humility is often viewed as something for weaklings, those who don’t have what it takes to get the relationships they want and get ahead in the world. I strongly disagree and believe those criticisms are based on confusion humility with humiliation. (more on that later.)

Now, there is a real power associated with humility. In fact, when students or clients ask me what traits must a good leader possess both in personal and professional life I reply, “There are 3 key traits, courage, discipline, and humility.”

1. Courage. Leaders venture into the unknown where the rulebook increasingly loses its relevance. This is a pretty scary place to be. Courage based on the belief in oneself and the team is essential for success to occur. This is true in personal life when a couple are going through the challenges of their relationship. Also, when a parent is dealing with a change or crisis a child may be having.

2. Discipline. There are two aspects associated with discipline. The first one is having a stick-to-itiveness where one continues persevering in the face of discouragement and challenges. The second component has to do with building oneself intellectually and spiritually in order to have the personal tools needed to work through the situation. Think of how a piano student practices and practices until there actions are spinal and their hands just know what to do.

3. Humility. Simply put, humility is knowing what I can and can’t do. It is knowing where my limits are. The importance, then, of humility is understanding there are times when bringing in others for support is critical. This all sounds well and good and I would guess you are in agreement. We need, though to make this real — put some flesh and muscle on the bones of intellectual definitions.

A deeper dive will help where we look at the real challenges as well as the benefits associated with practicing humility.

One of the best ways to bring the concept of humility into focus is to contrast it with its nemesis, humiliation. We can start with their definitions which have some common ground but then diverge significantly.

There are two parts to the definitions of these words. The first part is the same for both and its origins are in the word “humus,” meaning rich earth. This comes from earth-based religions where one is taught to think about their roots, where they come from, who nurtured them, and that we each have a place in the world but it is a small one compared to the broader universe and is not necessarily at the center. Consequently, the first part of the definitions of humility and humiliation is “to go to a small place.”

That’s tough enough as it is. This is the 21st century. Who wants to go to a small place?! “I want it all!” “Me first!” Those are what is encouraged in order to get ahead when It’s important to win at all costs, dominate, and control. Let the other guy be humble or humiliated!

What about the second part of the definitions? This is where it gets interesting and possibly confusing.

In the case of humility I choose to go to a small place while with humiliation I am pushed there by somebody else. Can you feel the confusion? First off, I am going to a small place and, second, my options are to either go there myself or be pushed by someone else. This doesn’t sound very good.

For example,