Ryan Muldoon—aka RyDoon, Vine OG and stand-up comic—was once the guy who could make millions laugh in six seconds. In this episode of Xanyland, hosted by therapist Alicia Racine Fink, Ryan gets honest about what it really took to survive himself: getting sober, digging deep into AA and Al-Anon, screaming along to Nine Inch Nails, and surrendering to the power of hypnotherapy.

Now a practicing therapist who’s funnier than ever (and yes, back on stage), he opens up about rage, recovery, and how becoming a therapist made his comedy more connected. This episode is for anyone who’s ever used humor to keep it together—and is finally ready to fall apart just enough to heal.