All that happened before is part of the process that brings you to now and that is all, just a step along the way. There are no right or wrong choices. There is no shame. If you notice that you often look back and kick your own butt about stuff, try letting it go. You can be sure you did the best you could with the info you had at the time. You can also try switching your thinking to something more relevant -- like how you want to feel now.