While doing a photoshoot for my website last week, I had some realizations about body image. That the way we see ourselves can impact our self-esteem.

You see, I'm thankful to have a husband who takes stunning photos (particularly of our kids) and that we have a lovely home. That's why we are able to do the photoshoot at home using just a mobile phone.

But I am having these subconscious thoughts:

🚩 In a few months, I'll reach my target weight

🚩 In a few months, I’ll have a better-looking skin

🚩 In a few months, I’ll feel better about myself

After all, I am breastfeeding and my boobs are bigger than they normally would. But other than that, I didn't gain weight and my pre-baby jeans still fit. So, I went ahead with the photoshoot, knowing that I'll do this again in a few months, anyway... when I'm ready.

But all of these thoughts boil down to the fact that my body isn't how I want it to look at the moment. So, when I checked the photos, I had a long list of feelings and discomfort about my appearance.

When I started putting on 'good clothes,' everything felt different on me. There were rolls where there were never rolls before. I now had a puch where I had flatness before. And I was continuously shocked about how my hair looked like.

The more insecure I felt, the more I snapped at poor Sean.

I felt like I was going to cry. So, I took a few minutes for myself, told my husband I need a costume change, went to my desk, and started journaling.

I knew that I wasn’t going to reach the potential of this photoshoot feeling the way that I was feeling. And I needed to take some photos for my website that will make me happy at the very least. This is for the women, for the mothers, for YOU, whom I am going to serve.

Subconscious beliefs about my body image were blocking me. So, I need to choose a better truth for myself.

✨ That I am good enough just as I am

✨ That I don't need to be perfect to show up and help other people

✨ That I just need to be brave enough to put my imperfectly perfect self out there

At that moment, I was able to turn things around, allowed myself to be beautifully imperfect, and enjoy the gifts that I was given that day.

💖 A patient and loving husband with incredible photography skills

💖 A gorgeous home to take photos in

💖 A beautiful body that birthed two babies and is breastfeeding one

💖 A strong body that is creating a new and important business

💖 And a lot of fantastic clothes that still fit, goddammit!

I went back with my head help high, continue with the photoshoot, and I've decided to relax and not obsessively check every photo. And guess what? The photos are really beautiful. I look like me on a good day.

But I learned now that how I look is important to me. It may sound vain, but confidence is both inside-out and outside-in. So, boosting your confidence by making and keeping yourself beautiful the way you want to is okay. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Remember: Confidence + Faith = Success. 💋

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