Hark! Faithful lis’ners, and lend yer ears to this ‘ere tale of madness amidst the sea. 

Prepared be yer for a nightmarish fiction of one-eyed seagulls, allurin’ sirens, and pestilent farts. 

An’ take heed lest ye be caught unawares, fer in the lighthouse ain’t nothin’ is what it seems.