In this episode of Tech News Time, we’re serving up a buffet of dystopia with a side of snark. First, Kuwait has finally realized crypto bros are an energy drain, not a feature. Celsius Network’s founder gets 12 years for running a “safe investment” Ponzi scheme. And in Lopez v. Apple, we find yet another reason to question Cupertino’s moral compass.

Then it’s time for a trip through the tech trash fire. DoorDash gobbles up Deliveroo, proving there’s no such thing as too many overpriced salads. Google wants your kids to befriend Gemini—because what could go wrong giving tweens supervised AI access? Tesla’s “Robotaxi” trademark gets the boot for being as generic as Elon’s pickup lines. Meanwhile, Grok strips in public, deepfake porn sites get the axe, and dating app “Raw” rawdogs user data like it’s the early 2000s internet. We also hit peak Black Mirror with brain-typed tweets, AI-resurrected relatives, and crypto kidnappers playing real-life GTA.

Kuwait cracks down on crypto miners to cut down on electricity usage

Founder of crypto platform Celsius Network is sentenced to 12 years in prison

Lopez v. Apple Inc.

DoorDash is buying British rival Deliveroo for $3.9 billion

Shrinking Website Run By Nazi Psychopath Wants to Improve Its Image

Tesla 'Robotaxi' trademark refused for being too generic

Kids under 13 will soon get supervised access to Google Gemini

People Are Losing Loved Ones to AI-Fueled Spiritual Fantasies

Nonverbal Neuralink Patient Is Using Brain Implant and Grok to Generate Replies

Elon Musk's Grok AI Will 'Remove Her Clothes' In Public, On X

Dating App ‘Raw’ Accidentally Rawdogs Users’ Location Data, Personal Info

GlobalX, Airline for Trump’s Deportations, Hacked

U.S. pushes nations facing tariffs to approve Musk’s Starlink, cables show

Leading deepfake porn site is shut down for good

Lehigh County's $500 Million Pension Fund Halts Tesla Investments

NOAA Warns of Attacks on Radar Systems by Militia That Thinks They Are ‘Weather Weapons’

Family Uses AI To Revive Dead Brother For Impact Statement in Killer’s Trial

We have reached the “severed fingers and abductions” stage of the crypto revolution

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