Carling from the I Did Not Sign Up For This Podcast, joins us this week to share the story of how she came out, went back in the closet, married a man, and then came out again. Carling shares how she embraced her true self. We talk about educating children today about gender identity and sexual orientation, as well as representation in the media.

Carling can be found on IG @ididnotsignupforthis.podcast

Topics Discussed:

(0:00) Introductions

(2:36) Coming out the first time: Carling talks about growing up, having crushes, and her first girlfriend. She also describes telling her step-mother taht she was gay and her families response.

(10:10) Quietly going back into the closet: Carling describes going back into the closet when she started highschool. Eventually, she married a man, and began feeling pressure to start a family. The marriage was not healthy, and they eventually got divorced.

(20:52) Coming out the second time: Carling shares about starting to date again after divorce, deciding to come out again, and finding belonging in her local gay community. While Carling had come out, she still held on to a number of heteronormative beliefs about gender roles, and the roles of masculine and feminine within a relationship.

(29:39) A haircut makes a difference: Tired of having to come out all of the time, and not passing as a lebsian. Carling made the transformative decision to cut her hair. She started embracing what felt comfortable to her, instead of just dressing how she thought women should. Carling found a lot of freedom in her new look.

(35:28) Teaching kids about sexual orientation: Jen, Tesha, and Carling discuss what parents' expectations were when they were growing up versus what they are today with regard to sexual orientation. We talk about educating children today about sexual orientation and gender roles.

(50:50) Carling’s advice: Carling gives advice for raising children today without the expectation that they will marry somebody of the opposite gender. She also shares how to handle it when somebody discloses to you.

(54:55) Impact of Celebrities coming out: We talk about the impact of seeing celebrities come out and embrace who they are, such as JoJo Siwa, Lance Bass, Neil Patrick Harris, and Elliot Page

Resources:

I Did Not Sign Up for This Podcast

My Two Aunts by Deb Bixler

The Trevor Project - Support for LGBTQ Youth

Coming Out as Gay in Your 20s, 30s & 40s from Refinery29

PFLAG - Support a loved one coming out

About Carling:

Carling (she/her) is an event manager by day, a podcast cohost by night and a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community. A survivor of domestic abuse, she is passionate about sharing her own stories and advocating for more education on healthy relationships. Follow on IG @ididnotsignupforthis.podcast

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