When Asking For Help, Appeal To People's Self-Interest - Never To Their Mercy or Gratitude

Does this make you squeamish? Or maybe this is the Law you're already most comfortable with...

FULL NOTES: http://voicesinthedark.world/2016/08/30/when-asking-for-…power-episode-13/

As ever, we're your guides on how and when to apply this law and this week we dive into the need to remember other people's interests and the serious dangers of guilt-tripping them into doing things for you. Reminding people that they owe you is a sure-fire way to piss them off and makes you sound like a desperate lover who can't handle being left.

We also cover the need to remember that other people are not simply playing a supporting role in your movie; they're not automatically going to want to help you out, but still we tend to act as though they should. We unpack why people are so suspicious of goodwill in modern societies, introduce our new cat, Ned, and take a trip into the Voices in the Dark dungeon to wonder when a guest stops being a guest and becomes a prisoner.

Let us know your thoughts and experiences with the Law... and don't forget to be good humans!

This Episode includes:

• Just because something is the honourable or proper thing doesn't mean it's going to happen
• Why James Bond gets to break all the rules... And why we're totally fine with that
• Apple's dubious morality
• How to avoid creating a new enemy out of an old friend
• The danger of placing a burden of gratitude on another person; no one likes to feel they owe their position or good fortune to someone else
• Finding the balance between play and obligation
• Don't let everything you hear or see become a statement about you... It's not all about you
• How to tell people convincingly that what you want will also benefit them
• The thin line of punching above your weight and losing perspective on what's actually important
• Which mind-altering substances do you want us to record under in future?
• Jon loses his cool over people not doing their jobs (not for the first or last time, either) and their defensiveness when you prompt them to do so
• Call centre frustrations: how can you get people to help you when you can't offer them something in return?
• Choosing where to spend your energy; don't start needless arguments to make yourself feel righteous
• The importance of using Fuck You Money to say Fuck You
• Back to Law 2: Don't depend on friends unless you're appealing to their self-interest
• Why it's selfish to be enraged by others' selfishness
• Beware the pious: don't appeal to the self-interest of those who think they're better than that... Appeal to their self-image instead
• Some people like to feel needed; you reward them simply by needing them
• Why being grateful doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't be dissatisfied at times
• We don't expect people to act the way we.  do, but, more dangerously, the way we think we would
• The insanity of using guilt to try to make someone stay with you

Mentioned in the Episode:

• Plenty of Game of Thrones references this week!
• Armstrong & Miller's wonderful 'Kill Them' sketch
• Ryan Holiday's great new book, Ego is the Enemy, and Jon's article about it
• The amazing and stimulating Joe Rogan Experience
• L'esprit de l'escalier – the French phrase, meaning 'staircase wit', which perfectly describes the feeling when you come up with the perfect one-liner or argument winner when the moment has already passed
• Dan Carlin's Hardcore History series on the Mongols, Wrath of the Khans
• Amazon's Marco Polo series

FULL NOTES: http://voicesinthedark.world/2016/08/30/when-asking-for-…power-episode-13/

Join us as we continue our 48 Laws of Power review, exploring Robert Greene’s provocative and compelling book, in which he lays bare the history, practice, psychology, and philosophies of power that ultimately shape all human relations. Often seen as a handbook for the ‘modern Machiavelli’, we take a closer look, beyond the hyperbole, and discuss how understanding and implementing these Laws can actually enrich your life personally, professionally and spiritually.

Jon and Dre aim to get to the heart of each of the Laws, grapple with their sometimes disturbingly amoral nature, and discuss what the Laws mean in everyday life (often revealing their own experiences – good and bad – when they’ve either observed or transgressed them).