Many people take this time of year to reflect over the past year, evaluate how they did, and make new goals for the new year. While there are certainly many things that I could look at in regards to this annual routine, the thought that comes to mind right now is the sheer amount of things that clamor for our attention.

If you’re like me, you have way too many things pulling for your time and attention. From family, to work, to church, to hobbies, to friendships and social engagements - there is no way we can do everything for everyone. Also, if you’re like me, you have a difficult time saying “no” to any of these requests - and, let’s be honest, not all requests are actually direct; some of them are requests that we assume because of some status quo.

Today, I want to bring a short episode to reflect on this and recommend two books and a podcast to help you with this very dilemma.

The Trivial Many

So many things scream for our attention. Our boss demands more tasks to be done. Our family demands our attention. Our calendar is crammed with activities. Our phones and computers ping us with notifications of things we either need to do or need to know. But, no matter how urgent they appear, most things in life don’t matter as much as they seem.

Many of these things may be good. Many of these things may even need to be done. But you need to ask yourself a couple questions:

• Do “I” need to be the one to do it?
• Does it need to be done now?
• What’s the worst thing that could happen if it doesn’t get done?

The Vital Few

So when we realize that most of the things trying to grab our attention are more trivial and unimportant, then we start to realize that there are only a few things that are truly vital. The thing that makes this even more difficult is that these vital things are usually quiet.

They’re not the things yelling for our attention.

They’re the still, small voice in the background getting ignored by the things that are louder.

These vital things can be ignored for a while with no seemingly negative impact.

That is, until it suddenly becomes urgent.

That’s what happens when someone ignores their health until they find themselves in the emergency room.

That’s what happens when someone finds that they are getting served divorce papers from someone they don’t really know or care about anymore.

The vital few things in our life need to be identified and then prioritized intentionally.

Elimination Round

This means that we need to start eliminating things from our lives. No, I’m not suggesting that you start cutting everything immediately or completely. You didn’t get overwhelmed overnight, but you have trained your brain over the years that overwhelm and crazy are normal - so you might not be able to handle such a drastic change.

But you should start by cutting a couple easier things from your life and schedule.

Also, you need to prioritize the things you identified as vital for you. This means that you need to make sure that these things are scheduled and that nothing takes their place. If a conflict comes up, take the time to really assess if the new task or activity is vital and more important than what you already had scheduled. It may surprise you that what you already scheduled is the most important thing and you need to say “no” to the new request.

Of course, this is easy to say, but difficult to actually do.

At least, when you are starting out.

As you consistently prioritize your most important things - your most important relationships, responsibilities, activities, etc. - it’ll be easier to keep those at the top.

What if it could be easy?

Now, you may get to the point where you eliminate virtually everything that is trivial and only do the things that are important - but you still struggle with balancing...