"It's Ash Wednesday. I'm here to receive ashes and deny Christ." 

This is what I wrote in my journal at the start of Lent, two years ago.  For this special Lent episode I have woven together a collection of poems and prayers and letters and stories I have written over half a dozen years as I have tried to make sense of my relationship with Jesus and the end of my Christianity. All together they tell a story about two Ash Wednesdays and the years in between.