PREMIUM BEEF ... The Chicken McNugget Hour of Power ... The tastiest Long John Silver's fryer effluent ... Overwhelmed by NBA and NHL postseason options ... Playoff triage... The nicest guy in sportswriting (it's Jon Bois) ... The ever-upward evolution of the NBA ... Hero Ball and Phrenology ... Meal Drift, late-night stew, casual wok sexism ... Never go Full Derelict ... Bill O'Reilly and all the ways we failed ... Dr. Noonian Soong and the positronic dryer ... Weird Al'ing anything you own or do...