McCartney and Violet discuss the internal struggle partners face when a spouse is a cross-dresser or gender expansive, prompted by a quote from Savannah Hauk’s book about mastering internal balance for peace of mind, body, and spirit. They describe challenges like redefining roles in a dual-gender relationship, balancing support with personal comfort, and communicating needs without guilt, especially around intimacy, attraction, and public presentation. They emphasize setting boundaries, moving at a manageable pace, acknowledging grief and anxiety, and avoiding shutdowns that can create hiding and resentment. They encourage honesty, curiosity, and seeking counseling, while reminding listeners that every situation is different and that the goal is personal peace alongside respectful negotiation.

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Reference:

Living with Crossdressing: Defining a New Normal by Savannah Hauk and Judith Swain

Living with Crossdressing: Discovering Your True Identity by Savannah Hauk 

Gender 101: An A-Z Handbook & Exploration by Savannah Hauk and Selva Dragani