Hand on heart, the very first time either of my kids ever said no to me was not until they were in their teens, it was so foreign to me that I didn't quite know how to respond! You see I had pretty much raised them without the word "no" in our vocabulary. I don't like it, there are many alternatives to instruct our children in ways that allow them to think for themselves. "No" is definite and it is a door closer, and I want to keep that door between me and my kids open, always.

This all came about after spending a number of years in my 20s living in Holland. They are known to be a very liberal culture yet I observed that their children and more importantly their young adults were surprisingly balanced with alcoholism and teenage pregnancy not being an issue in the slightest. It dawned on me that with the lack of "no" in their lives, they had the freedom to become young adults who knew who they were, who had the ability to make their own informed choices and the will to walk away when necessary. I also observed that because their parents treated them as people rather than "just children", that respect that was modelled on a daily basis, within the family and so became the norm for the young people too. How often do we hear people say "young people today have no respect" – perhaps it's because their parents haven't respected them as people first.

So, I decided before I even gave birth, that I wanted to give my kids all the tools that might help them live life in all its fullness; to be confident in who they are, wise enough to make informed decisions, bold enough to chase their dreams, savvy enough to read people and situations and strong enough to walk away when it's better for them to do so. This podcast explains how and what the results have been……

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