Teen Parenting Strategy That Works: Stop Fixing, Start Coaching Episode Description

Your daughter comes home upset. You can see exactly what she needs to do. So you offer clear, kind advice that would absolutely work—if only she'd follow it.

She nods. Says "okay." But something in her voice tells you she has no intention of doing what you've suggested. And a week later, nothing has changed.

If this sounds painfully familiar, you're not alone. The parenting approach that worked beautifully when she was younger simply doesn't land anymore. In this episode, I share what I learned from over 20 years of working with teenage girls—and why the most powerful thing you can do is stop fixing and start coaching.

Discover the neuroscience of why teens resist even brilliant advice, the one coaching question that activates her problem-solving brain, and how to guide without needing to control or fix.

This is the second C in my CoachingMotherhood 4Cs Method: Connect, Coach, Calm, Create.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

✨ Why your perfect solutions disappear the moment she leaves the room ✨ The "people-pleasing yes" and how to recognise it ✨ How telling teens what to do activates their brain's threat-detection system ✨ The difference between directing and coaching—and why it matters ✨ One powerful question that builds her decision-making muscle for life

Key Quote

"When your daughter finds her own answer—even if it's messier than the one you would have given her—she owns it. She believes in it. She's far more likely to follow through. And most importantly, she builds the decision-making muscle she'll need for the rest of her life."

This Week's Practice

The Power of One Coaching Question:

When your daughter brings you a problem—once you've connected and acknowledged her emotional state—instead of jumping to your solution, pause and ask:

"What do you think you might do?"

Then stay quiet. Give her time to think.

If she says "I don't know," gently follow up:

• "If you did know, what would it be?"
• "What feels like it might be worth trying?"

You're not abandoning her. You're inviting her to tap into her own wisdom—which is far more powerful than anything you could tell her.

Resources Mentioned

• Sir John Whitmore - "The role of a coach is to create awareness and responsibility through trust and rapport"
• Dr. Dan Siegel - Research on the adolescent brain and healthy independence
• The CoachingMotherhood 4Cs Framework: Connect, Coach, Calm, Create

Work With Me

Ready to master the complete coaching method for teenage transitions?

I'm developing my signature online course teaching the full 4Cs framework—giving you the coaching skills and regulation tools to navigate these years with confidence and connection.

-Join the waitlist: [email protected] -Learn more: coachingmotherhood.com

Connect With Me

Have a question or topic you'd like me to cover? I'd love to hear from you.

Email: [email protected] Instagram: @coachingmotherhood Subscribe so you never miss an episode

If You Loved This Episode:

• Share it with another mother navigating the teenage years
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts—it helps other mums find these tools
• Subscribe for weekly episodes

Coming Up Next Week:

Episode 4: "Calm: How to Co-Regulate When Your Teen Loses Control" Discover the sophrology tools and nervous system strategies that help both of you stay grounded through emotional storms.

Hosted by Kate Boyd-Williams Coach | Educator | Sophrologist | Mother of Teenage Daughters

Conversations for Our Daughters: Empowering Mothers. Championing Daughters. Thriving Together.