The Oscars happened last night March 27 and everyone is buzzing because during one of the awards, Will Smith walked up on to the Oscars stage and slapped Chris Rock across the face before returning to his seat and shouting at the top of his lungs “Keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth” twice.

So first things first, let’s set the scene. Chris Rock comes out on stage to present an award and before he even gets to the nominees in the category, he makes some jokes about the actors sitting in the audience, namely the ones sitting closest to the stage. Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith happened to be sitting in seats really close to the stage where Chris Rock’s marker is, so Chris Rock mentions Jada.

What Chris Rock says about Jada is a reference to her looking like the title character from a Demi Moore film called “GI Jane.”

Women who shave their heads then often get comments or earn nicknames like “GI Jane.” In my opinion, it’s no different than describing a 70’s style mustache as a porn stache. Just because the wearer has a porn stache doesn’t mean they are a porn star, it’s just a really quick way of describing a characteristic or a feature for a mass audience.

Now for those of you saying that Chris Rock should know that Jada has alopecia because she has been so vocal about it on her show. I kinda follow Red Table Talk, Jada’s podcast where she discloses pretty much everything about her life, and I had no idea she was suffering from alopecia.

When Will heard the joke from Chris, his first reaction was to laugh. We all saw it - it's’ on film. It's on social media, it's everywhere. We also see that Jada was essentially pissed at Chris’ joke, so we can assume the minute Will’s eyes meet Jada’s eyes after the joke is said, that Will is told energetically through Jada’s facial expressions and body language that he needs to fix this. 

We can assume that Will saw a fragility in his wife’s eyes at that minute that made him burst out of his seat, get up onto the Oscars stage, walk 50 feet or so toward Chris Rock, slap him, walk back to his seat, and then shout at the top of his lungs - twice - keep my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth. 

But what Will didn’t see is that the minute he made his wife the victim, himself the rescuer, and Chris Rock the abuser, he formed a self-sabotage spiral triangle. 

Will’s win for best actor is completely overshadowed now by this slappening. And when Will Smith gave his acceptance speech, this is what I heard between the lines. That Chris Rock deserved to be hit in Will Smith’s view because Will Smith is having a hard time and he needs to protect his family. BULL SHIT

In my opinion, Will should have been disqualified for best actor the minute he slapped Chris Rock. Because awarding someone minutes after they acted in such an abusive manner? That’s troubling for so many reasons. Not only does it glamorize physical abuse, Will Smith just sent a message out into the world that it’s ok to hit someone if you’re standing up for someone else or for yourself. 

At what point do you hold yourself responsible? At what point can you no longer hide behind your pain and trauma as the reason you caused hurt in someone else’s life?

If Will would have held Jada’s hand after Chris Rock’s comments and then shared during his acceptance speech that his wife has alopecia and bravely decided to shave her head, Will Smith’s actions would have had such power behind them - more power than any slap would do. But instead, he chose violence. His ego allowed him to be swallowed by the cycle of self sabotage.

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