Siblings supporting their brother's and sister's on friendships, dating, and dreaming big, with Melissa Janson

Today, we are kicking off our second mini-series on the podcast, and over the next few months we are going to focusing in on siblings. Siblings are often forgotten about in the family equation when there is a disability in the family, yet they can play such an important role. In this mini-series, we are going to be trying to answer a couple of questions about siblings; ‘What role can siblings play in their brother’s and sister’s lives?’, and ‘What support and resources are available for siblings?’.

If the sibling topic is one that interests you, you can listen to Episode #009 with Helen Rieswhere Helen shares her story and we have an important discussion about starting a conversation with your family about the role you want to play as a sibling. There are often so many assumptions about the roles family members are going to play. These assumptions are not always accurate and can lead to breakdowns, which is why it is so important to discuss the roles each family member wants to play. You might be surprised in how involved your family members want to be!

To kick off the mini-series on siblings, we have guest Melissa Janson on the show. Melissa works professionally in the disability sector, and is the sister to Yaniv, whom has a disability. Melissa and I discuss the role that we can play to support our brothers and sisters. We have a great conversation about friendships, dating, and dreaming big.

Melissa’s Story

Melissa (now 28) was born in Israel and moved to New Zealand with her family in 2000. Her younger brother, Yaniv (now 25), was diagnosed with aspergers when they arrived in New Zealand. Melissa and Yaniv went to the same main stream school where Yaniv was bullied, and this was frustrating to Melissa. People couldn’t see Yaniv’s gift and skills like Melissa could.

Melissa explains, “People with aspergers can struggle to pick up social ques. It doesn’t come naturally to Yaniv to come up to someone and start a conversation, and sarcasm and humor is hard.” However, Melissa goes on to explain that Yaniv is quite funny!

Melissa works professionally in the disability sector for an anthroposophical service provider that is grounded in the theories of Rudolph Steiner which takes a holistic view of the person; spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

Melissa’s family is starting to think about what the future looks like, as a family.

Building Relationships

Melissa is very close with Yaniv.  Yaniv wants to know what is happening in Melissa’s life, and Melissa wants to know what is going on Yaniv’s life. Melissa shares, “Being close and connected is my focus.”

Melissa always tries to Include Yaniv in her social outings with friends. Melissa shared that, Yaniv is sometimes not sure why and can put up some resistance, but often comes along anyway.

On the podcast, I share the story of my conversation with the great Jean Vanier. Jean left me with this piece of advi