Karima Torres: Need clarity on what “my ask” should be.

• Identify the level of your network first. Peer, expert, mentor, advocate, or gatekeeper. This determines the hero of the story, shapes your narrative, and clarifies exactly what you should ask.
• Work backwards from the ask. Reverse engineer your message by defining relationship dynamics, then build a story around where you are, where you’re going next, and what’s stopping you.
• Frame your obstacle in relation to where your expert can empathetically be useful to you with this thought question: When you get hired today, what are your fears, your knowledge gaps, and things that you know that you don't know?
• Don’t ask people for advice; ask for their story. It bypasses bland general advice and gets them to talk about themselves.
• Leverage the science behind the Benjamin Franklin effect: When we ask somebody for a small favor that they are qualified to give, it makes them more likely to help you.
• Ask a simple ask: Given you've achieved these goals and overcome these obstacles, can I ask you a question or two about how you did it?

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