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04: What I Was Missing When I Set My Goals (And How Everything Changed)
Before I ever understood alignment, identity, or behavioral change science, I used to set 19 goals for 2019, 18 goals for 2018—vision boards, planners, personal retreats, the works. I chased the fantasy woman who would magically appear on January 1st: perfectly healthy, perfectly disciplined, perfectly productive.
That woman never showed up.
And now I know why: I never had a “why,” and I never made those goals part of my identity.
In this episode, I break down:
- Why “New Year, New You” is usually just New Year, Same Pressure
- How setting 10+ goals with no deeper meaning kept me stuck in burnout
- What finally clicked for me when I looked back at the goals I did achieve (engineering degree, MBA, half marathons, reading hundreds of books)
- How identity—not willpower—is what makes habits stick
- Why your values must guide your goals, or they’ll feel like punishment
- The danger of choosing goals because they “sound good” online
- How to root your goals in who you truly are (not who you think you should be)
- Why I created my SPEAK framework for aligned goal setting
- A real example from my life: stepping into the identity of business owner instead of hiding it
Key Takeaways
- You don’t need January 1st to make a change—start when it feels aligned.
- Your goals must connect to who you want to become, not what you think will look impressive.
- Identity beats discipline every time.
- Values + identity = sustainable, soul-aligned goals.
- The best goals feel natural to talk about, learn about, and take action on.
- Your goals should make you emotional—in the best way.
Connect with Me
Follow me on Instagram @chelseyncoaching for behind-the-scenes experiments, cosmic insights, and honest conversations about building a life that works with your energy—not against it.
💫 Grab your free Time Freedom Experiment to start redesigning your days, one aligned experiment at a time →
The Aligned Routine Experiment Log: If you’ve ever copied a routine from Instagram, a podcast, or that one influencer who swears by 5 AM wake-ups… and then wondered why give up after two days and feel like an undisciplined failure, you’re not alone. That’s exactly why I created the Aligned Routine Experiment Log—a “lab notebook” to help you stop guessing and start running your own personalized productivity experiment to create personalized routines that work for you.
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By Chelsey NewmyerBefore I ever understood alignment, identity, or behavioral change science, I used to set 19 goals for 2019, 18 goals for 2018—vision boards, planners, personal retreats, the works. I chased the fantasy woman who would magically appear on January 1st: perfectly healthy, perfectly disciplined, perfectly productive.
That woman never showed up.
And now I know why: I never had a “why,” and I never made those goals part of my identity.
In this episode, I break down:
- Why “New Year, New You” is usually just New Year, Same Pressure
- How setting 10+ goals with no deeper meaning kept me stuck in burnout
- What finally clicked for me when I looked back at the goals I did achieve (engineering degree, MBA, half marathons, reading hundreds of books)
- How identity—not willpower—is what makes habits stick
- Why your values must guide your goals, or they’ll feel like punishment
- The danger of choosing goals because they “sound good” online
- How to root your goals in who you truly are (not who you think you should be)
- Why I created my SPEAK framework for aligned goal setting
- A real example from my life: stepping into the identity of business owner instead of hiding it
Key Takeaways
- You don’t need January 1st to make a change—start when it feels aligned.
- Your goals must connect to who you want to become, not what you think will look impressive.
- Identity beats discipline every time.
- Values + identity = sustainable, soul-aligned goals.
- The best goals feel natural to talk about, learn about, and take action on.
- Your goals should make you emotional—in the best way.
Connect with Me
Follow me on Instagram @chelseyncoaching for behind-the-scenes experiments, cosmic insights, and honest conversations about building a life that works with your energy—not against it.
💫 Grab your free Time Freedom Experiment to start redesigning your days, one aligned experiment at a time →
The Aligned Routine Experiment Log: If you’ve ever copied a routine from Instagram, a podcast, or that one influencer who swears by 5 AM wake-ups… and then wondered why give up after two days and feel like an undisciplined failure, you’re not alone. That’s exactly why I created the Aligned Routine Experiment Log—a “lab notebook” to help you stop guessing and start running your own personalized productivity experiment to create personalized routines that work for you.