Let's pull some tricks out of the fifth pocket of our Levi's jeans to get things going this morning...It is Opening Audio time...We are going to do something called contrasting newsman...First off...No one is better to party with than fat Roker...One newscaster gave an upbeat cup of joy story about a family that had identical quadruplets...The story was upbeat...The next newsman was a guy that was literally dying on the air...He told a story about a teacher showing nudes to her students...His soul was leaving his body as he told the story...We have some foul fowls...A man went to his ex-girlfriend's house to get his chicken Polly...Cops hunted him down and he begged them to not hurt his chicken...The domestic turkey might be the way to go when it comes to a pet...They last 10 years...A postman was attacked by a gaggle of turkeys...Bubbles is tired of playing the what's in your mouth game...Latoya Jackson went to visit Micheal Jackson's chimp Bubbles and kept asking what was in his mouth..."Helene" has officially been retired as a name to be used for hurricanes and tropical storms...Amazon has thrown their name into the hat for purchasing TikTok...Jean-Claude Van Damme is being charged with human trafficking in Romania...An elementary school principal was arrested for throwing parties that involved weed, alcohol and brandishing guns...A real party animal...Did you ever think of this? No one ever kidnaps a large...A woman went into the worst part of Chicago where women get kidnapped...She's 266 lbs and said she will drop to the ground...Smart...William Shatner is trying to scare the crap out of Gayle King...Literally...Gayle will be heading to space on 4/12...Shatner told her she will be wearing a diaper and brought up the Hindenburg...Does yellow mustard go in the fridge after you open it? Dating in the 1980's was quite uncomfortable...We played some clips of men on a dating channel trying to romance the ladies...A fight broke out on a plane after a woman offered another woman perfume for her body odor...A woman robbed banks while pregnant and her husband had no idea while he was the driver...Kanye's wife finally left him and he made a song...The NFL has laid out a list of gestures that are banned including the nose swipe...We feel it would be a great gesture if you could check out this Thursday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!