Influence Every Day

042 Blameworthy Modesty and Harmful Humility

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Episode 042 Blameworthy Modesty and Harmful Humility 

Host: Dr. Ed Tori, The Influence Every Day Show 

Episode Overview:

Dr. Ed Tori explores the fine line between virtues and vices when it comes to humility and modesty. While often celebrated as noble traits, they can sometimes become counterproductive, leading to self-sabotage, missed opportunities, or harmful avoidance. Dr. Tori explains how to recognize when these virtues cross into vice and offers actionable strategies to strike the right balance.

Key Topics:
Defining Modesty and Humility:
  • Modesty: An outward expression of minimizing self-importance, often shown in speech or actions.
  • Humility: An inward attitude of self-awareness, acknowledging one’s limitations without self-aggrandizement.
    • When Virtues Cross the Line:
    • False Modesty: Pretending to be modest to gain approval or manipulate others.
    • Excess Modesty: Downplaying achievements to the point of self-sabotage or being undervalued.
    • Misplaced Modesty: Being modest when assertiveness is necessary, such as failing to step up in leadership.
    • Avoidant Modesty: Using modesty to avoid responsibility or accountability.
      • Practical Insights:
      • Recognize when humility or modesty is obstructing growth—personally, professionally, or organizationally.
      • Advocate for yourself and your team while maintaining humility.
      • Request resources, seek help, and assert your qualifications when appropriate.
        • Memorable Quote:

        “Beware of times when humility or modesty is being used as an excuse for complacency or inaction.” 

        Action Steps:
        • Reflect on how humility and modesty show up in your life. Are they fostering growth or creating obstacles?
        • Commit to striking a balance: Be humble, but don’t undermine your value. Be modest, but don’t avoid necessary action.
        • Advocate for your contributions, whether in the workplace or in personal endeavors.
          • Want More? 

          Need help navigating these challenges or honing your influence and communication skills? Schedule a strategy call with Dr. Tori at InfluenceConsult.com.

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          Influence Every DayBy Dr. Ed Tori