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063: Self Doubt to Confident Leafer with Michelle DeRoubaix
This episode of The Happy Nurse features returning guest Michelle DeRoubaix, a nurse educator, leadership coach and mentor with over 40 years of clinical nursing experience and more than 20 years developing nurse leaders. Drawing on her work and her ebook “From Self Doubt to Confident Leader,” Michelle and Elaina explore the realities of modern nurse leadership, the impact of COVID-19 on leadership pathways, and how nurses can lead themselves first to create safer, kinder workplace cultures.
Summary
In this conversation, Elaina and Michelle dive into the changing face of nursing leadership, including how nurses are being pushed into senior roles earlier than ever and what that means for confidence, burnout and workplace culture. They discuss practical, strengths-based strategies to navigate imposter syndrome, give feedback with compassion, step out of the Drama Triangle and build psychologically safe teams where everyone feels seen, heard and valued. Michelle also shares simple tools for regulating the nervous system, setting boundaries and reconnecting with the core “why” of nursing so leaders can sustain themselves and their teams in a demanding healthcare environment.
Key topics discussed- How COVID-19 and workforce shortages have accelerated nurses into leadership roles (often within 2–3 years) and the stress and skill gaps this creates.
- Why Michelle chose to focus on associate NUMs and emerging leaders rather than senior executives, and how her Master’s in Business Coaching helps bridge nursing and organisational realities.
- Common confidence challenges for nurse leaders: imposter syndrome, fear of errors, and the discomfort of giving feedback to colleagues.
- Practical approaches to feedback that are honest, kind and brief, and why timing, calmness and follow-up conversations matter.
- The harm of “favourites,” roster manipulation and mean-girl culture, and how these behaviours erode integrity, trust and psychological safety.
- The Drama Triangle versus the Winner’s Triangle, and how shifting from drama to solutions can protect energy and culture.
- Leading self first: knowing your strengths, values and core needs (including feeling safe, valued and connected) as the foundation of effective leadership.
- Simple team practices to rebuild connection on busy wards, such as brief appreciation circles, mindful moments after a death or code, and small rituals of kindness.
- The impact of shift work, acuity and ageing populations on nurse wellbeing, and why boundaries, rest, movement, nutrition and relationships are non‑negotiable.
- Nervous system regulation tools for nurses: diaphragmatic breathing to activate the parasympathetic system, short pauses to “respond not react,” and regular micro-moments of decompression.
- The importance of vulnerability in leadership, and how a leader’s openness makes it safer for staff to be honest about challenges and mistakes.
Resources and links
- Michelle’s ebook: From Self Doubt to Confident Leader - https://lp.michellederoubaix.com.au/roadmap-download-page
- Previous Happy Nurse episode with Michelle on the Drama Triangle and leadership - Episode 004.
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By Elaina Mullery
3
22 ratings
This episode of The Happy Nurse features returning guest Michelle DeRoubaix, a nurse educator, leadership coach and mentor with over 40 years of clinical nursing experience and more than 20 years developing nurse leaders. Drawing on her work and her ebook “From Self Doubt to Confident Leader,” Michelle and Elaina explore the realities of modern nurse leadership, the impact of COVID-19 on leadership pathways, and how nurses can lead themselves first to create safer, kinder workplace cultures.
Summary
In this conversation, Elaina and Michelle dive into the changing face of nursing leadership, including how nurses are being pushed into senior roles earlier than ever and what that means for confidence, burnout and workplace culture. They discuss practical, strengths-based strategies to navigate imposter syndrome, give feedback with compassion, step out of the Drama Triangle and build psychologically safe teams where everyone feels seen, heard and valued. Michelle also shares simple tools for regulating the nervous system, setting boundaries and reconnecting with the core “why” of nursing so leaders can sustain themselves and their teams in a demanding healthcare environment.
Key topics discussed- How COVID-19 and workforce shortages have accelerated nurses into leadership roles (often within 2–3 years) and the stress and skill gaps this creates.
- Why Michelle chose to focus on associate NUMs and emerging leaders rather than senior executives, and how her Master’s in Business Coaching helps bridge nursing and organisational realities.
- Common confidence challenges for nurse leaders: imposter syndrome, fear of errors, and the discomfort of giving feedback to colleagues.
- Practical approaches to feedback that are honest, kind and brief, and why timing, calmness and follow-up conversations matter.
- The harm of “favourites,” roster manipulation and mean-girl culture, and how these behaviours erode integrity, trust and psychological safety.
- The Drama Triangle versus the Winner’s Triangle, and how shifting from drama to solutions can protect energy and culture.
- Leading self first: knowing your strengths, values and core needs (including feeling safe, valued and connected) as the foundation of effective leadership.
- Simple team practices to rebuild connection on busy wards, such as brief appreciation circles, mindful moments after a death or code, and small rituals of kindness.
- The impact of shift work, acuity and ageing populations on nurse wellbeing, and why boundaries, rest, movement, nutrition and relationships are non‑negotiable.
- Nervous system regulation tools for nurses: diaphragmatic breathing to activate the parasympathetic system, short pauses to “respond not react,” and regular micro-moments of decompression.
- The importance of vulnerability in leadership, and how a leader’s openness makes it safer for staff to be honest about challenges and mistakes.
Resources and links
- Michelle’s ebook: From Self Doubt to Confident Leader - https://lp.michellederoubaix.com.au/roadmap-download-page
- Previous Happy Nurse episode with Michelle on the Drama Triangle and leadership - Episode 004.