I am interviewing Mikhail Alexandrov (pen name). He is an ex-Muslim, native Arabic speaker who has memorized the Quran. He came to Canada at the age of 19 to become an engineer, did 6 years of school, bachelors and Masters degrees, and now works in an energy research company.

YouTube version of this conversation: https://youtu.be/c-_eYcEeDh8

Here are the time stamps for the interview:

0:00 Introductions.4:38 Mikhail’s upbringing, his religious background in Saudi Arabia, an anecdote of encounters with the religious police in Saudi Arabia.12:30 Hadith on photos being haram.14:10 Mikhail’s relationship with his uncle who had an Ijazah and whom he looked up to.16:15 Mikhail’s love for literature and how it influenced his reading culture. Using reading as an alternative to listening to music18:30 How Mikhail’s parents’ divorce affected him especially how his mother started treating him.25:15 Leaving home after his mother called the police on him.30:40 The questions that Mikhail had about his life situation.33:06 How Mikhail’s relationship with his mother pushed him to be suicidal at a very young age.38:26 The two things that kept Mikhail from actually committing suicide.40:20 Self-doubt and how it affected Mikhail. How Mikhail came to the realization that he was torturing himself for his mother.42:23 Seeking professional help for mental health issues. Toxic parents(recommended book) and how it helped Mikhail.48:36 How the “religious uncle” turned out to be a sexual predator.49:40 Confronting his mother and posting the whole conversation in the family group. The family’s response to the incident. How Muslims fear shame more than they want to protect victims in their societies.58:24 An incident of a girl who was killed by her family because she was rapped.1:01:15 How Mikhail compartmentalized all these issues and the relief that came with confronting his mother and uncles.1:02:50 Coming to the realization that most of his problems emanated from Islam and Allah. Drawing parallels between Mikhail’s mother’s behavior and that of Muhammad, Abraham, and a lot of religious figures.1:07:35 The religious justice: good Muslims go to heaven while good people go to hell.1:10:26 Prioritizing religion more than family members and loved ones. How Mikhail’s father was accepting of him.1:18:05 The Middle East’s slow evolution to secularism and Mikhail’s hope for the region’s future.1:22:00 Life after Islam: finding new meaning and purpose in life and enjoying the present moment without fear of death. Taking up new hobbies and being adventurous.1:24:20 Being at peace with death and becoming nothing.1:27:30 Final remarks and channel announcements.