Brian has a confession that will shock the world of the News Roundup. Leah offers absolution. Give us a shout on Twitter if you finished this ep and we will celebrate you.

STORIES DISCUSSED (yes actually)

Mythical root axe: https://www.npr.org/2022/05/13/1098545920/kansas-man-finds-ax-tree-root-handle-reddit-thor 

Far Right American Christians converting to Orthodoxy: https://www.npr.org/2022/05/10/1096741988/orthodox-christian-churches-are-drawing-in-far-right-american-converts 

Spilling blood in fake tiger fighting for rain: https://www.france24.com/en/live-news/20220508-mexican-tiger-fight-ritual-draws-blood-to-bring-rain 

Exorcisms have gone mainstream: https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/exorcism-is-something-we-cant-quite-quit/ar-AAX12Wr 

Quasi-religious ceremonies for crypto creation https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaeldelcastillo/2022/04/27/edward-snowden-revealed-as-key-participant-in-mysterious-ceremony-creating-2-billion-anonymous-cryptocurrency/?sh=3ae4c1803b24 

Surprising reason why Christians help migrants: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/church-satan-marjorie-taylor-greene_n_6269c72fe4b04a9ff8974f2d 

Wine loving nun is the oldest: https://www.fox5ny.com/news/worlds-oldest-person-french-nun-sister-andre 

Eve Frank, the first female Jewish messiah: https://daily.jstor.org/meet-eva-frank-the-first-jewish-female-messiah/ 

We’re calling everything a “hellscape” now: https://www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/archive/2022/04/why-were-calling-everything-a-hellscape/629565/ 

Crucifying Jesus in front of Five Guys: https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/u4dpc3/warm_enough_to_crucify_the_bishop_today_in_front/ 

A theory of why we’re all going nuts online: https://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/something-happened-by-us-a-demonology 

Mercury extra retrograde has people changing their lives: https://www.wsj.com/articles/astrology-fans-feel-the-dread-mercury-is-in-retrograde-an-extra-time-this-year-11650292198 

Catholicism declines in Latin America: https://www.axios.com/catholic-decline-latin-america-evangelicals-dd2bab11-6a22-48cc-b65a-554578c7a62e.html 

Zuck on life’s meaning: https://www.dailystar.co.uk/tech/news/inside-mark-zuckerbergs-plan-cure-26358289 

Evangelicals starting to have a political mind of their own: https://www.bloombergquint.com/business/trump-fails-to-turn-evangelicals-against-gop-governor-he-scorns 

Trapping people in your guitar worship service at 30,000 feet: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/u4yroc/wanna_get_away/ 

Near death experiences are not hallucinations: https://www.braintomorrow.com/2022/04/08/near-death-brain-activity/ 

Pastors flipping properties: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/apr/14/miami-church-real-estate-first-presbyterian 

Christian sect burning shed and Colorado fire: https://www.thedailybeast.com/christian-sect-burning-shed-focus-of-deadly-colorado-fire-investigation 

Catholic conspiracy theory: https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2022/03/pope-francis-consecration-ukraine-russia-fatima-conspiracy-theories.html

Not Satanic Chair: https://twitter.com/skestenbaum/status/1507339305911562249?s=20&t=pIGZblxvEPLN0i-BCB7ExA 

Misunderstanding the book of Job in the face of the apocalypse: https://slate.com/human-interest/2022/03/job-torah-story-despair-alternative-war-democracy-climate-apocalypse.html 

The last Covid story we’ll ever do pls? https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ricky-schroder-mask-meltdown_n_62257790e4b012a2628cb4b5 

Poem, “Welcome to the Age of Beautiful Weirdos”: https://3quarksdaily.com/3quarksdaily/2022/03/friday-poem-290.html 

Priest helps families at no cost: https://www.npr.org/2022/02/28/1083451577/philippines-drug-war-victims-burial 

Really stretching the “religion” angle here but Remember King of Kong? https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/king-kong-monkey-bashed-seagull-26422015 

Pat Robertson going strong: https://twitter.com/RealAmVoice/status/1495114363648163843?s=20&t=1ad1MdgQeC3wWjUsC6imJQ 

Pat Robertson says God made Putin do it: https://www.salon.com/2022/03/01/pat-robertson-putin-is-being-compelled-by-god-to-invade-ukraine-and-fulfill-biblical-prophecy_partner/ 

Doomsday Plane flies yayyy: https://inews.co.uk/news/us-doomsday-plane-boeing-flight-putin-nuclear-weapons-threat-russia-ukraine-1491543 

Teaching evals for Professor Jesus Christ: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/selected-negative-teaching-evaluations-of-jesus-christ 

Celeb couples turning vampiric: https://www.vice.com/en/article/epxbna/why-are-celebrities-so-obsessed-with-blood-right-now-machine-gun-kelly-megan-fox 

Nephilim documentary: https://www.jpost.com/christianworld/article-696572

A lot of humans wish they were never born (saw in Salem on way to Bend): https://images.app.goo.gl/1d36kqNSW18tseWV6

Astrologers predict new things for America based on 2s: https://nypost.com/2022/02/21/astrologers-explain-power-shift-significance-of-2-22-22/ 

Clergy shortage forces laypeople into roles: https://www.wsj.com/articles/houses-of-worship-face-clergy-shortage-as-many-resign-during-pandemic-11645452000 

Facts and Myths about Being Wrong About Things: https://www.aeaweb.org/articles?id=10.1257/jep.34.3.220 

After school Satanism: https://www.bnd.com/news/nation-world/national/article257283327.html 

People like lady robots better: https://www.studyfinds.org/humans-female-robots/ 

Why Churches Should Drop Their Online Services: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/30/opinion/church-online-services-covid.html?referringSource=articleShare

Surge of digital church membership: https://www.fox5ny.com/news/virtual-reality-church-worshipping-in-the-metaverse 

Canadian doctors can prescribe nature walks: https://www.npr.org/2022/02/09/1079356799/a-new-program-in-canada-gives-doctors-the-option-of-prescribing-national-park-vi 

Worship the beast: https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/rare-calf-born-three-eyes-25969723 

Sunday lunch crowd meme: https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/sfohsc/thee_worst_in_the_rogues_gallery_of_shit_people/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf 

Attempt to kill the Antichrist: https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ny-biden-antichrist-assassination-attempt-secret-service-20220129-q4to7j27v5d6tkye5eeh5kzwfi-story.html 

Guru: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/13/style/alex-ebert-bad-guru.html 

The Theologian who warned of American Christian facism in the 1980s: https://mitchellglennfrommichigan.medium.com/this-theologian-warned-of-american-christian-fascism-back-in-the-80s-1a790bff13b3 

Zoommunion (?): https://www.churchtimes.co.uk/articles/2022/21-january/news/uk/holy-communion-online-is-valid-and-effective-says-burridge

Faith healer nails nail in woman’s head: https://metro.co.uk/2022/02/11/faith-healer-hammered-nail-into-pregnant-womans-head-so-shed-have-baby-boy-16088206/ 

Non-believer groups in Ohio: https://www.dispatch.com/story/news/2022/01/28/8-greater-columbus-groups-atheists-and-nonbelievers/6581283001/

Christian flag reaches the Supreme Court: https://3quarksdaily.com/3quarksdaily/2022/01/christian-flag-case-reaches-supreme-court-is-the-nazi-flag-next.html 

Rise of sneaker-preacher-influencers: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jan/29/pastor-michael-todd-spit-preacher-influencer

Drowning Man Parable and Vaccines: https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/10/christian-drowning-man-parable-covid-vaccine.html 

QAnon shuts down national butterfly center: https://www.dailydot.com/debug/national-butterfly-center-closed-sex-trafficking-qanon/ 

JFK disguised as you know who: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/qanon-donald-trump-jfk_n_61e5e64be4b05645a6eb0912 

Mystical letters spell the real culprit: https://www.reddit.com/r/terriblefacebookmemes/comments/rxuk74/god_damn_media_spreddin_rona_round/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf 

QAnon Shaman was trying to calm the crowd: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/qanon-shaman-riot-claim_n_61d68fd2e4b061afe3aedb25 

Western Wall future and shaky Israeli government: https://apnews.com/article/middle-east-religion-jerusalem-israel-prayer-04a68f9f0baafa813fb0dfab3485e896 

New doc puts women at center: https://religionnews.com/2021/12/15/new-documentary-daughters-of-eve-dismantle-christian-patriarchy-zanah-thirus-bible-feminism/ 

Islamic comic book finds audience: ​​https://religionnews.com/2021/12/29/islamic-friendly-comic-book-content-finds-a-growing-audience/ 

Noah’s Ark doomsday bunker: https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/noahs-ark-underground-doomsday-bunker-25852569 

Nonbelief channel at Patheos drama: https://religionnews.com/2022/01/04/what-happened-to-the-nonbelief-channel-at-patheos/