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In 1-2-3 Magic, clinical psychologist Thomas W. Phelan introduces a simple countdown approach to discipline that lets you spend less time managing your child’s behavior and more time enjoying your relationship. The book distills discipline into two tasks: stopping unwanted behavior and initiating productive behavior. Phelan explains that when you’re able to spend less time on discipline, you’ll have more time to focus on your more enjoyable parental duty: cultivating a warm and loving relationship with your child.

Phelan’s approach will resonate with parents looking for a discipline model that builds children’s self-efficacy, self-esteem, and independence. His tools help you redirect behavior, skip lectures, reduce conflicts, and establish positive routines. We’ll supplement Phelan’s advice with additional tips for parents on how to change their own behaviors, insights into how some of Phelan’s recommendations can apply to adults, and historical background on child discipline.