Mike and Matt have found themselves stranded on this strange island after decades of bobbing about on the stormy seas of the North Atlantic. How did they get here from Ohio, via Chicago, Copenhagen, Toronto and Norwich?

Our hosts have some tips for their fellow fresh-faced Americans on how to navigate the mean streets of London and the cryptic utterings of the people who live here.

Plus a first-hand report from the homeland and finding refuge from the madness in a playground in Angola, Indiana.

And Matt makes his first attempt at developing our theme tune. It won't be his last.