Special guest star Melissa helps our hosts explore the chronicles de Don Fernando and his familia in a What Happending language-learner first. Many questions arise about the mystery of the hacienda. Just what is written in la carta? Who is the mysterious ghost bride? Why doesn't the avocado save money on travel and make a phone call or two? Will the chubby boy from Madrid find his dog? And how many hijos does Don Fernando have, and when does an hija become hijos?

Cutlass fording, cuatroshadowing, giant Stargate portals, empanada continuity, and Y Tu Mama Tambien popcorn breaks are also discussed.