“That's your freaking job as a parent. And that's the whole struggle with parenting is, yeah, on one end of the spectrum you can just be thumbs down, mandating they do everything and not let them like grow as a person and just be super strict. On the other end of the spectrum is, I think they're both lazy, but on the other end of the spectrum is like, “Whatever, you know, we're just letting them just… Hh, they coloured on the wall, that's fine! They're expressing themselves, oh, you know. They wanna just be some other gender? That's fine… Like they just need to be free spirits.”
And that's lazy parenting. You’re abdicating your role to actually craft this person to a functional adult and the struggle is it's somewhere in the middle. You have to, earlier on, you have to be obviously doing some things for them and all this stuff, but as they get older, you have to let them make their own mistakes.
But you have to guide them in building a set of values and a set of like ethics and a set of like, hardworking mentality and all of this stuff. And that only comes through discipline. And the struggle is the discipline. And that's where like the public discussion around this is like, we're vacillating between these extremes.
So the side that's free spirited, everything is like, “Oh, you're being too strict side. That's too strict,” to saying, “Oh, you're being too free spirited.” Right? And the struggle is in the middle. You see this, kids need consistency. They need discipline. Everyone knows it. And I think where you do the most damage, and we fall into this too, is when you're inconsistent. You come down on 'em for something, you know, or you come down on something and then the next minute you're just like, not even coming down on 'em. Kids need that structure. They need some semblance. But again, back to our earlier comment around like over-scheduling kids. They need structure, but you can't just totally structure every minute of their day. Cuz that's not helpful either. They have to have some of that kind of free kind of thinking, creative time…”
Episode #106 of The Hope Initiative with Mike Sudyk.