Kelly, Bill, Mike and Luca are joined by Jess. Sean is absent, probably trapped inside another pinball machine. It's Valentine's Day. We talk about cereal mascots and which drugs they do, then the death of James Van Der Beek, which leads Kelly to tell a story about being asked out on a date by a guy who really, really liked Dawson's Creek. Then - History lessons with Mike. Who is your favorite Khan? Muslim assassins! Hashshashin! Also, Skynet, Chinese Xanax content farming, and other weird ish.