11 | Lessons I'm Learning In A Season Of Grief

I know this one might be a tough topic to listen to. It was definitely a tough topic to talk about. But I promised myself I would talk about what I am learning in this difficult season because I want to be better prepared the next time I go through it. So, I am sharing my learnings with you, my listeners, and I hope you get something out of it too!

As you all probably know now, my beloved aunt passed away after suffering through severe complications from what should have been a routine heart operation. I was there to witness that suffering her entire last week and it had a lasting impact on me: on what I think about death, how I want to be better prepared, how I want to depart, how I don't want to depart, and what I want to leave behind. I thought about all of these things while still doing my best to be Casey's mom, feeling a bit squished in the middle of dealing with grief from the passing of an older generation but still trying to be present for my younger generation's needs.

Lessons I've learned from this season:

*Get yourself a health advocate. It can be hard to advocate for your own health needs, especially if you are feeling overwhelmed with all the decisions you have to make. Getting a friend or family member to listen to your doctors and help you make decisions can be so beneficial to your mental health. Also, work with your special needs kids to help them advocate for their needs to the best of their ability. We continue to work on that skill with my daughter.

*Talk, discuss and maybe even plan ahead for what your wishes are for when you pass. Communicating these wishes can be hard when they don't seem necessary. Trust me, they are even harder when they are necessary and you are no longer here to tell loved ones. For special needs families, a lawyer that specializes in these matters is a must when it comes to estate planning.

*When you are struggling with death, mental health issues or perhaps an illness, injury or any other cause of grief, it is important to remember what KC Davis says: organizational chores and daily functioning tasks are "morally neutral" -- they don't represent your failure or success. Instead of saying, "I'm failing!" replace that with, "I'm just having a hard time." They are just there to make your life functional. So drop the guilt and get creative about how you can complete a task so that you can function and get through the next minute, hour or day.

*If you find daily tasks too difficult right now, you can start with...

1) empty the trash

2) do the dishes (or just a couple so that you can eat your next meal)

3) wash some clothes

4) put away things that have a place

5) put away things that don't have a place

Learn more about KC Davis, her book, podcast and her views on struggle care HERE

BONUS!!!!! Just so we end on a funnier, more positive note, I thought I would share my True Confessions of a Professional Organizer! These are the top 8 things I do/don't do in my own home, even though I might tell my clients otherwise! I hope you don't think any less of me once you hear these! Just always remember, professional organizers are people too! :)

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