We gave Nolan Paige a list of 25 of his most unhinged opinions — and he had the audacity to defend every single one. Animals? Overrated. Live music? A waste of time. And that's just where we start. For the next 55 minutes Nolan walks us through his complete worldview, and the scariest part is... he makes sense?

Whether you find yourself nodding along or screaming at your phone, one thing is certain: this man has never second-guessed himself a day in his life. These aren't hot takes. They're just right. Nolan said so himself.