The Jambalaya School Newsletter

11| Putting a Moratorium on This Crematorium (Kindergarten Classroom)


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Come spell "Sheldon the Egg Board Egg" with our cheer squad and your community at the next sports function! Mr Minotaur stamps his hooves and makes us laugh, cry, and long for those days far behind us. Nothing is happening in the teachers' lounge; a profit is not being made by nothing going on in the teachers' lounge; silence your inquisitivity. The high school is open! Unfortunately, we have only two teachers for all four grades—sorry. Driving lessons are being offered for free; please bring your own seatbelt. The Egg Board of 'Merica was just here; they left with one of Jambalaya's finest :( The kindergarten classroom is... getting aired out. It was a bit stuffy inside. SSS AKA Sam Smith provided the music for this episode. You can find his work at sssmusic.bandcamp.com . Our sponsors for this episode are The Anvilope as well as Bred Bull Bread Bowl-in-a-Can. And, of course, Budweiser. Stay wise. The parody song this month is "Only Horny When it Rains," a parody of Garbage's "Only Happy When it Rains." Lyrics: I'm only horny when it rains. I bite my lip when it's precipitating. Even the morning dew is titillating. I'm only horny when it rains. My pants get tight when the forecast is bad. My nips will burst right through my buttoned plaid. I'm only horny when it rains. Horny during a storm. Horny during a hurricane. I'm so wet I could drown. I'm so wet I could drown a fish. I'm only horny when it rains. I start to tingle when the sun is gone. Tsunami warnings get me so turned on. I'm only horny when it rains. I jump in puddles at the park. The muddy water brings the cravings back. The sprinkler system makes me grip my bat. I'm only horny when it rains. I get so hot and bothered in typhoons. The Perfect Storm on Blu-Ray makes me swoon. I'm only horny when it rains. I'm as stiff as a board. I'm as stiff as a board of nails. Porn volume gets turned down. Rain ASMR gets turned up. It's a mystery how rain turns me into a freak and soaks my underwear. I'm only horny when it rains. I'm fingering my bottle's condensation. My ear of corn gets hard from irrigation. I'm only horny when it rains.


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The Jambalaya School NewsletterBy The Impotent Satyr