Are you a really busy mom that sees fitness as important, but needs to balance lots of life demands? Today, guest Esther Avant, personal trainer and nutrition coach who specializes in weight loss, shares tips on how to get it all in.

Meredith: What does it mean when someone asks "are you living a fitness lifestyle?"

Esther: My son just turned one, so what a fitness lifestyle means has changed pretty drastically since then. I started off as a Personal Trainer in college and worked in commercial gyms. When I was young, single, and didn't have a business, I could workout for hours a day. That was how I spent free time. I couldn't fathom doing less than that. Fast forward 10 years, now with a business and a baby, not only do I not have two hours a day for the gym, but I don't want to. That has taken a lot of mental adjustment; trying to reconcile being the "gym person," but now my fitness lifestyle is made up of quick small windows of workouts. We have a gym in the apartment complex that I can go to in the mornings, so I can finish up before my husband has to leave for work. It just has to get done early and in under 30 minutes. For me, the consistency of doing something shorter but frequently has been working. I still consider myself a fit and active person; the workouts just look different because my life is different.

Meredith: Absolutely. You're definitely a role model of fitness. I met Esther at the Fitposium conference, and everybody there is living a fitness lifestyle. As a busy mom we can get this done; we don't need 2-3 hours at a gym every day. I really appreciate how you share how fitness fits into your own life so you still get everything done and be that role model and have time for what's important in your family.

I think busy moms have a lot of questions about nutrition, fitness, and perhaps mindset too. Could you share one tip in each of these areas of how we can live healthy and fit in each area when we don't have 2-3 hours/day for a gym?

Esther:

Nutrition: Do some sort of planning and prep every week. When you hear "meal prep," you might get the shivers and think that you need to be a thin tanned woman in a sports bra eating perfectly measured meals out of identical Tupperware. Sure it can be, but it doesn't have to be. The point of prep and planning is to set yourself up for success during the week. I work primarily with working moms, and we work together to figure out what makes sense to them. For example, when a family has more kids involved in activities, weekends might be the busiest time of the week. It maybe doesn't make sense to spend Sunday afternoon trying to do all the cooking and prep, but maybe when the kids are at school, that's when you can do grocery shopping and chopping.

For my family, one of the main things that sets us for success is having breakfasts ready to go. I do a big egg bake and it is pre-portioned for my husband and I, so all we have to do is heat it up. If we didn't, who knows what we would grab. My husband would probably go down to the Starbucks and get who knows what. I probably would snack on whatever my son is eating. For us, nailing breakfast makes a huge difference.

I'd encourage you to think about where you can make time to do the prep work. It might look start with deciding to make chicken fajitas one night and then making sure you buy chicken at the store; it starts with getting your ducks in a row for what you will have on hand. Maybe it's sitting down and washing the produce, or chopping so when it's time to make dinner you just grab handfuls of stuff and dump it in a pan. Figure out what is going to make your life easier so every single day you're not doing all of the work. What can you do once to save time later?

Exercise: I would encourage you to adjust your expectations. Instead of feeling like I did when my son was born, realize that if you can't carve out 60-90 minutes to get in your cardio, stretching, and strengthening . . .. Instead of thinking "if I can't do that, then its not worth doing," scale way back. Look for small opportunities throughout the day. Maybe you set an alarm at work and get up and walk every hour, or do a few body weight exercises first thing when you wake up. Instead of feeling like it needs to be a lengthy designated gym time, figure out how you can get more active throughout the day. All of that adds up. It might be nice to have uninterrupted time where everyone leaves you alone and you get to do your own thing, but that might not be realistic right now.

Also see if you can incorporate your kids. You can look at it one of two ways; either "these kids are really annoying and they won't leave me alone; they're jumping on me; they're trying to do what I'm doing. I just want to get my workout in." Or you can think, "wow, isn't it great that I'm setting an example for them that they want to be active with me? They're seeing me do things for my health; they're mimicking me. How can I set them up for these healthy behaviors too?" Maybe that's getting a set of one pound dumbbells for a child. If they are older, maybe explain what you are doing and involve them. Work with your circumstances instead of working against them. Remind yourself whatever phase your kids are in, it is fleeting; there will be a time you get uninterrupted time to yourself again. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to get a body weight workout in, and my son started crying and wanted to be picked up. I pick him up and do the squats, and he giggles; everything is fine. I'd encourage you to be flexible in what you consider a workout, and remind yourself there are pockets throughout the day if you become aware of them and use them to the best of your ability.

Mindset: There are so many things I could say about this. One of the most impactful mindset shifts is adjusting your expectations by not comparing your life now to your life before kids or trying to get back to that place. It doesn't mean you can't be as fit or fitter, or as healthy or healthier, but it will likely look different. If you are morning on what you used to do or have time for, you're fighting yourself. Instead, accept where you are right now and what life is like right now; work with it. Work with your lifestyle instead of trying to fight it into something that isn't realistic.

Especially in the beginning, if you are out of the habit of exercising or prioritizing your health or eating well, one of the most important things you can do is start small and collect some wins. Don't try to jump into everything at once and feel like you are a failure. Instead start small and really take pride in all of things you are doing. The progress and results come from doing those small things consistently, and then adding more small things. Be proud of yourself for every small step you take. That positivity will spiral; if you are feeling good, you are more likely to make better choices, and the whole things spirals in a good way.

Meredith: Thank you so much; I was even taking notes here. I really noticed the mention of small windows; for busy moms that's absolutely a critical step. Even if you don't have kids, maybe you're working five jobs and not sleeping anymore; it applies here too. I really appreciate how you shared finding awareness of those small windows and what we can do with them, and then build consistency to allow us the space to embrace our environment, work with it, and take pride in the progress. So many times, we don't give ourselves credit at all for what we are actually accomplishing against obstacles, and time frames, and striving to be positive role models. There are so many pearls.

So many times, I hear from moms, that they feel selfish for taking time for their own fitness and wellness. Are there any words of wisdom you can offer to moms on how to work with the feeling of "I'm being selfish. I'm taking time away from my family and what I need to do today?" How can they work with instead of against this mindset?

Esther: Good question; every woman I've worked with has brought this up at some time. For starters, you deserve to take some time for yourself regardless of anything else. Mom, not a mom, single, not single . . .whatever your circumstances, you deserve to prioritize yourself; you are a a worthy human being; you deserve to have health, happiness, confidence, and like the way you look and feel. This is a blanket statement for everybody.

Beyond that, I ask how the way people feel about themselves is impacting other areas of their lives. Is it affecting their work, relationships, family life, etc . . .? Something I hear frequently is that the way they are feeling about themselves is spilling into other areas of their lives in a negative way. Maybe they don't want to be intimate because they are feeling badly about their body. Maybe they are quick to snap at the kids because they are frustrated by their body aching, and not feeling good, and not looking the way they want. Maybe they aren't showing up at work as confidently as they could be.

As much as you deserve to do it for yourself, that is something that is hard for women to wrap their heads around. Sometimes it can feel better to put the spin on it of "you will be a better wife, business owner, mother . . . if you take care of yourself." When you are feeling good and confident, everything else feels better. You can show up at work with more confidence, authority, and energy to get stuff done. You can have a pleasant time with your family because you aren't obsessing in the back of your mind about food or how you look in a bathing suit. It strengthens the relationships with everybody around you. Even if you don't yet feel like you can do it for you, think about how much better it is going to make your life and the lives of those you love if you take care of yourself anyway.

Meredith: I appreciate that; I hope the audience takes time to listen, embrace, embody, and carry forward self care in their lives. There are so many wonderful things people can take away and appreciate about the context and where these thoughts and shares come from. Is there anything else you'd like to share in closing?

Esther: Something I run into a lot in my Facebook group on weight loss and healthy lifestyle changes is the feeling that it needs to be hard; it needs to feel like a sacrifice or restrictive. It really doesn't. You don't need to be cutting out food groups and doing "beat downs" in the gym. You do not need to be overhauling your entire life. The absolute key to your overall success is being consistent and patient. It takes a lot less than you think if you have that consistency down. It doesn't matter if you had a bad day or skipped your workout; its what you do most of the time that matters. If most of the time you are making mindful choices that support your goals; you will get there. The only way that you will fail is if you give up.

I know it can feel hard when you are pulled in a million different directions, and you feel like there aren't enough hours in the day, but truly all you need to do is do your best, whatever the circumstances are for the day. Just do your best. So many clients have that all-or-nothing mentality like an on-off switch. What is way more effective and productive is to think about your efforts on a dial; think about turning that dial up or down based on what else is going on, but never turn it off.

If you're an accountant and it is tax season, yeah, you're probably not going to have as much time to exercise as you would in a different season, but what can you do instead? Can you take 10 minute walking breaks? Can you get a meal delivery service? What can you do given the circumstances to still do something? When the season is over, can you ramp up your efforts? If you can operate somewhere in the middle all the time, you are so much better off than when you are on or off.

Meredith: Thank you so much.

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