Relationships Let's Talk About It!

112. A Journey With A Dying Parent


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Adley Gartenstein is the former president and co-owner of Film Movement, a distributor of independent, award-winning films from around the world. Over the last two decades, Adley has been a counselor, trainer, and workshop leader in the co-counseling community. My friendship with Adley goes back to 25 years ago when we met at the Esalen Institute. Since then, we’ve formed a friendship so profound that he has become the godfather of my son, Zander.

In this episode, Adley and I discuss his journey with healing as he took care of his dying mother. We explore how he had assumed the role of caretaker for his mother since he was a child and describe how that impacted his sense of self-worth. We illustrate how Adley committed to becoming a great son, regardless of his mother’s shortcomings as a parent. We also discuss my experience with my father’s death and underscore the honor that comes with being present in a person’s final moments on Earth.

 

“Being around a dying person is, in a way, a transition into adulthood; to play that role of caretaker, to make it about somebody else, and to care about that person.” - Adley Gartenstein

 

This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:

  • Assuming the role of caretaker for his mother from childhood
  • How feeling responsibility for his mother’s well being affected Adley’s self-compass
  • Claiming Adley’s right to be a great son, regardless of childhood experiences
  • Understanding how trauma gets passed down through generations
  • The beginnings of Adley’s journey into healing
  • My experience with the death of my father
  • Deciding not to be the victim of one’s circumstances and breaking the cycle of darkness and trauma
  • The power of spending time with a dying person and the lessons it can teach us
  • Feeling liberation from trauma and fulfillment of duty

 

 

Related Content:

  • Is Love a Choice or a Feeling?

 

 

Connect with Adley Gartenstein: 

  • Adley Gartenstein on LinkedIn

 

Let’s Talk About It!

 

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Relationships! Let’s Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

 

If you have a relationship question you’d love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

 

Don’t forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let’s Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

 

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

 

Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk

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