Relationships Let's Talk About It!

115. HeartShare: People Pleasing


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It's natural for us to want to care for the people we love and make them happy. Many of us are also naturally compassionate and find fulfillment in altruistic endeavors. But there is a fine line between being selfless and being a people-pleaser. It's essential that we discern whether our proclivities towards catering to others' needs come from an authentic desire to help or from a place of fear and insecurity.

In this episode, I discuss the vital role of compassion in realizing our tendency to be people-pleasers and in transforming ourselves and our relationships. I illustrate how insecurity, fears, and low self-worth can foster the people-pleasing pattern and underscore the dangers of being a people-pleaser. I explain why honesty is one of the greatest gifts we can give to other people and how we can weave kindness into it. I also reveal how we can overcome our people-pleasing tendencies through setting boundaries and being true to our needs.

"When we constantly strive to please, it's unlikely that we'll thrive in relationships because we start to feel invisible, even though we're the ones creating the experience." - Pripo Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

  • The relationship between codependency and people-pleasing
  • The role of compassion in the process of self-transformation
  • How a compassionate person differs from a people-pleaser
  • The fear of rejection and other factors that influence the people-pleasing pattern
  • Why people-pleasers find it difficult to set healthy boundaries
  • Conflict avoidance and how authenticity took me out of a people-pleasing episode
  • The connection between people-pleasing and manipulation
  • Bringing kindness into honesty and how it can benefit our relationships
  • The value of focusing on curiosity when interacting with people
  • Why I think history may have caused women and mothers to people-please more
  • How people-pleasers may attract controlling people
  • Losing autonomy and a sense of self to people-pleasing
  • Why people-pleasing can also be selfish
  • How parents can model authenticity for their children
  • What it takes to overcome our people-pleasing patterns

Related Content:

  • Guided Audio Meditations
  • Setting Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty
  • Codependency
  • Authentic Relating
  • A journey with A Dying Parent

Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

Don't forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let's Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

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Relationships Let's Talk About It!By Pripo Teplitsky

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