This is episode 117 of the Baehr and Curadh podcast. We are going to talk about internalized homophobia.
To everyone listening to this podcast... You have some traits of internalized homophobia and you don't even know it. We live in a world where everyone is assumed to be heterosexual. But more than that, we live in a world where heterosexuality is thought to be superior. It leads to something called internalized homophobia. Imagine a Jewish person in Nazi Germany. It's very much like that. Growing up in an evangelical household. Low self-confidence, feelings of inadequacy, self-minimization, anxiety, and depression. Avoiding public displays of affection. Feeling you are never good enough. Internalized homophobia is what a lot of homophobic hate crimes stem from. Attempts to change your attraction, or engage in addictive behaviors that distract from queer thoughts and feelings. Conversion therapy. Men joining a seminary, the armed forces or law enforcement to "cure" themselves. Over-achievement as a bid for acceptance. Increased fear and withdrawal from friend and relatives. Embarrassment about those you attracted to, or how it manifests. Feelings of shame and guilt. Continual self-monitoring of one's behaviors, mannerisms, beliefs, and ideas. Marrying someone of the opposite sex, hoping the homosexual feelings will be replaced. Contempt for the more open or obvious members of the LGBT community. Mistrust and destructive criticism of queer community leaders. The opposite. Giving a "pass" to queer people because they are queer. Contempt for those at earlier stages of the coming out process. Projection of prejudice onto another target group. Reluctance to be around children for fear of being seen as a pedophile. Becoming psychologically abused or remaining in an abusive relationship. Putting down or avoiding heterosexuals. Feeling superior to heterosexuals. Thinking about or attempting suicide. A general sense of personal worth and also a positive view of your sexual orientation is critical for your mental health. Just being aware of internalized homophobia is a good thing. 
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