Midlife AF Podcast

#118 Repaired AF

Listen Later

In this special episode of Midlife AF, I guide you through the first part of my three-day Festive alcohol reset designed especially for the wild, wobbly space between Christmas and New Year.

I share how I went from looking “fine” on the outside - successful career, running half marathons, oysters and champagne - to feeling utterly broken inside, waking at 3am gripped by shame, anxiety, and promises to myself I couldn’t keep.

I introduce a different, deeply compassionate way to change your relationship with alcohol - one that doesn’t rely on willpower, punishment, or labels, and doesn’t even require you to stop drinking to begin.

We explore grounding, awareness, and self‑trust, and I explain why you drink for very valid reasons, how dopamine hijacks your brain, and why self‑compassion (not self‑criticism) is the heart of sustainable change.

You’ll also hear about my work with women in midlife, my own journey through burnout, bullying at work, neurodivergence, and parenting quirky teens, and how becoming alcohol free has allowed me to become the calm space in my family’s chaos. This is an invitation to pause, get curious, and start gently repairing your relationship with alcohol - and with yourself.

Episode Highlights

  • I created this three‑day Festive Reset as a gentle space between Christmas and New Year to repair, reconnect, and refresh your relationship with alcohol.
  • You absolutely do not need to stop drinking to start this work; you can change your relationship with alcohol while still drinking.
  • My approach goes deeper than “top 10 tips” and willpower - it’s built on neuroscience, psychology, and compassionate inquiry.
  • I share my own story: from high‑functioning, overachieving, “healthy” drinker to burned‑out, anxious, and waking at 3am full of shame.
  • On the outside I looked like I had it all together; on the inside I felt like a terrible mum, partner, and person constantly failing herself.
  • Alcohol was my off‑switch from a life crammed with caregiving, a demanding corporate job, neurodivergent kids, and zero bandwidth.
  • Discovering my own and my children’s neurodivergence reframed so much of my past drinking as a coping strategy, not a moral failing.
  • Today I’m happily alcohol free, and far more able to be the “calm space” in my world - even when life is still messy and hard.
  • We start this episode with grounding and breathwork to show how regulating your nervous system can give you what you’re seeking from that first drink.
  • A key goal is rebuilding self‑trust after years of making and breaking promises to yourself about when and how much you’ll drink.
  • Awareness work (like my awareness worksheets) helps you see your triggers, patterns, routines, and the real reasons you drink.
  • Everything you do with alcohol, you do for a reason - usually to escape suffering (loneliness, stress, overwhelm, boredom, pain).
  • Self‑compassion is the core of this methodology: we swap judgment for curiosity and punishment for kindness.
  • I lean on Kristin Neff’s three components of self‑compassion: self‑kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness (you have experiences; you’re not your experiences).
  • Shame and willpower‑based approaches often keep people “white‑knuckling” sobriety for years without real freedom.
  • Dopamine is a survival chemical: your brain thinks alcohol is vital because it delivers a fast, powerful dopamine hit when you’re dysregulated.
  • When you “slip,” instead of spiraling into blame, you can ask, “What was going on for me? How was I feeling? What did I need?”
  • Community - especially among women who “get it”—is incredibly healing; you realize you’re not uniquely broken, you’re completely human.
  • The ultimate aim is a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol and a much more loving, trusting relationship with yourself.

    • 👉 Join the 3-Day Festive Alcohol Reset (Dec 27–29)
    Repair · Reconnect · Refresh (Free)
    https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

    👉 Join the January 2026 Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - Starts January 1
    https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

    ...more
    View all episodesView all episodes
    Download on the App Store
    Midlife AF PodcastBy Emma Gilmour