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12 Bawdy Christmas Poems
12 Bawdy Christmas Poems
Tonight we’re presenting some of our most beloved,
humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are
spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time.
Listen to the Podcast at Steamy
Stories.
The Black Knight Before Christmas.
by The
Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the
house
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse;
My
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse;
My
panties were hung on the bedpost with care,
As my fingers parted
As my fingers parted
my soft pussy hair.
My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed,
As visions of
huge cock danced in my head;
My tit in one hand, and squeezing my
My tit in one hand, and squeezing my
nip,
I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip.
I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip.
When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound,
I popped out my
fingers from my wet and hot mound;
And naked away, to the window I
And naked away, to the window I
dashed,
Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash.
Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash.
The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold,
Showed my smooth
white skin and red nipples so bold.
When, what to my wondering
When, what to my wondering
eyes should appear,
But William, our black neighbor, who I’ve
But William, our black neighbor, who I’ve
wanted all year,
With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick,
I knew in a
moment I’d found my hard dick.
While rubbing my pussy I
While rubbing my pussy I
suddenly came,
As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name;
As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name;
“Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen!
It’s
time that you knew what you’ve always been missin’!
From
From
the tip of my rod to the sack of my balls
I’ll make you
I’ll make you
forget your drunk husband, Paul!”
His words, they made my fantasies fly;
And I slid both my hands
between my wet thighs;
And started to spread and rub my bare
And started to spread and rub my bare
lips
Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick.
Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock,
And knew at the
front door awaited my cock.
I threw on my robe and sped down the
I threw on my robe and sped down the
stairs,
Hot for the stud who awaited me there.
Hot for the stud who awaited me there.
When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment;
Entered the
room and tore off my garment;
And dropped to his knees, put his
And dropped to his knees, put his
face in my snatch;
My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match.
My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match.
The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth,
His fingers he
rubbed on my slit just beneath;
I squeezed my huge tits, nipples
I squeezed my huge tits, nipples
dark as a cherry,
And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so
And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so
furry.
Hearing my breathing had become quite quick
He knew it was time
to show me his prick.
He pulled down his pants and exposed his
He pulled down his pants and exposed his
firm belly,
And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh,
And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh,
Billy!”
It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand;
When it slid in
my mouth, he barely could stand;
So a chair I soon found and gave
So a chair I soon found and gave
him a seat;
I straddled his cock and ground on his meat.
I straddled his cock and ground on his meat.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled
up my pussy, then came with a jerk,
And sliding his finger inside
And sliding his finger inside
of my ass,
I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp.
I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp.
I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor,
And licked the last
drops of cum like a whore.
And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth
And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth
on his rod,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good, oh,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good, oh,
oh my God!!!”
And To All A Good Lay.
by foehn.
Recited by Connor.
’Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers,
my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!”
You’d already laid down your stockings with care,
and
come to molest me in my easy chair.
The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last,
and now it
was “us” time; not slow, but not fast,
You unbuttoned
You unbuttoned
my britches and pulled my pants down,
and up sprang my elf with
and up sprang my elf with
his little pink crown.
He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic,
desiring
our session of love to be drastic.
Tenderly, gently caressing my
Tenderly, gently caressing my
shaft,
you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft!
you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft!
By flickering firelight, its head disappeared,
when all of a
sudden, the thing that I feared,
The most about Christmas Eve
The most about Christmas Eve
night came to pass,
as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his
as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his
ass.
Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air,
as Santa
jumped up with, a burning derriere.
I took in the view with a
I took in the view with a
wilting erection,
and wondered “What’s wrong with our
and wondered “What’s wrong with our
burglar detection?”
Santa was hopping and howling in hurt;
I pulled up your
favorite plant from its dirt,
And taking the pot, knocking over my
And taking the pot, knocking over my
rum,
I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum.
I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum.
The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed,
to think
that this Christmas, he well could have died;
And when he spied
And when he spied
you, collapsed naked and weeping,
I couldn’t help think,
I couldn’t help think,
that he shouldn’t be peeping.
When I recognized the odd look on his face,
I reminded him, he
had invaded our space.
“And now come to think of it, where
“And now come to think of it, where
are the toys?
“Surely you’ve brought some, for our
“Surely you’ve brought some, for our
little boys.”
I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket,
to cover your
butt with. (she wanted to spank it.)
He walked to the chimney,
He walked to the chimney,
and reaching within,
unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a
unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a
din.
“Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?”
He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing’s the matter,”
and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong,
he tossed you
a shiny new silicone dong.
He stashed the boys’ presents, all under the tree,
and
turning he gave me, a new DVD;
there were pictures of hot sexy,
there were pictures of hot sexy,
things on the case,
and one of them seemed to be wearing your
and one of them seemed to be wearing your
face!
He gave a big wink, walked right out the door.
I locked it
behind him and glanced at the floor.
where you looked so
where you looked so
peaceful, all comfy and bare.
beneath the big blanket, now
beneath the big blanket, now
covering you there.
I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side;
you were
already giving, your new dong a ride!
And what had gone limp from
And what had gone limp from
our rude interruption,
now perked up quite nicely, and stood at
now perked up quite nicely, and stood at
attention.
I reached for your free hand and guided it where;
it could find
my “north pole,” sticking out in the air.
and I heard
and I heard
Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh,
“Merry Christmas to
“Merry Christmas to
all, and to all a good lay!”
Her Night Before Christmas.
by Ug.
Recited by Natasha.
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house.
No
creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were worn
The stockings were worn
by the woman with care,
She’d too much to drink, passed out
She’d too much to drink, passed out
on the chair.
The woman who should have been snug in her bed,
the whiskey
and vodka, gone straight to her head.
And she lay there snoring,
And she lay there snoring,
empty glass on the floor,
so drunk came she in, she’d
so drunk came she in, she’d
forgotten the door.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Another drunk
wandering, home in a stagger.
To her door he did wander, and gave
To her door he did wander, and gave
it a push,
Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush.
Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush.
He spied a light on, in a room and did wander.
looked inside
the door, and hence he did ponder.
Now who was this woman,
Now who was this woman,
sitting there in his chair.
This woman with such sexy flowing
This woman with such sexy flowing
blonde hair.
He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake,
but the young
buxom woman, just wouldn’t awake.
He tried a bit harder,
He tried a bit harder,
and gave her a jostle.
which didn’t awake her, but made her
which didn’t awake her, but made her
breasts tossle.
The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver.
decided to cup
one, still she did not shiver.
Now with his right hand, he
Now with his right hand, he
slipped down her dress.
and finding her nipple, an interesting
and finding her nipple, an interesting
quest.
He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh.
and feeling
the silks, he pushed his hand high.
Over the stocking tops, onto
Over the stocking tops, onto
warm skin,
to her panties and under, his fingers sank in.
to her panties and under, his fingers sank in.
He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside.
and with his
free hand, then parted her thighs.
And moving between, her legs
And moving between, her legs
he did shove.
Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love.
Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love.
He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair,
His dick
found it’s way, through her pubic hair.
and into her pussy,
and into her pussy,
his dick did so slam.
then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly
then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly
ram.
He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved.
Her pussy felt
great, like a hot little glove.
She still was asleep, unaware of
She still was asleep, unaware of
the world,
so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl.
so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl.
He pushed her legs back, up over her head,
And deep in her
womb, his pulsing dick fed.
He started to grunt, whilst having
He started to grunt, whilst having
his fun.
Then into her belly, shot all of his cum.
Then into her belly, shot all of his cum.
He held himself still, til catching his breath,
and pulled out
his dick, his balls had none left.
He wiped off his cock, on the
He wiped off his cock, on the
hem of her dress,
and zipped himself up, though she was a mess.
and zipped himself up, though she was a mess.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door,
before
looking round, til he finally swore.
“Oh fuck” he
“Oh fuck” he
soon hissed, “this isn’t my home!”,
then crept
then crept
from the house, and left her alone.
He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so,
soon slipped on
some ice, and landed in snow.
But I heard him exclaim, passing
But I heard him exclaim, passing
out like a light,
“Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking
“Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking
good-night!”
T’was The Night Before Christmas.
by LostNlove.
Recited by Emily.
It was the night before Christmas;
And all through my
house.
The Candles were glowing;
And I was quite soused.
The Candles were glowing;
And I was quite soused.
The fire was warm;
And so was the brandy.
As I wrapped up
the gifts;
I was feeling quite randy.
I was feeling quite randy.
I sat in my nightie;
Short silky and white.
Hoping when
Santa showed;
He’d enjoy such a sight.
He’d enjoy such a sight.
Then top of the stairs;
I heard a deep groan.
It sounded
familiar;
I let out a moan.
I let out a moan.
I turned round to see;
And what do you know.
There stood my
Santa;
His shaft in a bow.
His shaft in a bow.
I saw that red ribbon;
Round that cock so hard.
And jumped
off the couch;
Without self regard.
Without self regard.
When he saw I was tipsy;
He laughed and came down.
I untied
that bow;
And wrapped my lips ‘round.
And wrapped my lips ‘round.
Oh, what a present!
I’m one happy wench.
I sucked it
then faster;
my nipples he pinched.
my nipples he pinched.
I rose to my feet;
L and licking my lips.
Then, held
mistletoe;
while he gave me a kiss.
while he gave me a kiss.
We moved to the couch
Where he laid me back.
And thrust in
his cock;
All the way to his sack.
All the way to his sack.
When my hips rocked he said;
Oh You like that I see.”
I
said,“Yes all though better;
On the floor on my knees.”
On the floor on my knees.”
“No problem my dear;
Anything that you wish.
But first
come here;
Give me one more kiss.”
Give me one more kiss.”
I kissed his lips softly;
Then I got on the floor.
He teased
so I begged;
“Santa please give me more.”
“Santa please give me more.”
He lifted my nightie;
Up over my ass.
As he gave it a
slap;
I let out a loud gasp.
I let out a loud gasp.
“I’ve watched you this year;
You’re so
naughty but nice.”
He shoved it in deep saying,
“Now,
He shoved it in deep saying,
“Now,
let’s do this twice!”
I slammed back against him,
As he slammed into me.
I didn’t
yet notice;
Rug burns on my knees.
Rug burns on my knees.
I moaned and I came;
my juices did flow.
he pounded yet
faster;
deep as he could go.
deep as he could go.
I came then again;
and convulsed quite a bit.
My fingers
pressed hard;
On my swollen clit.
On my swollen clit.
As I came I could feel;
His dick start to swell.
He smacked
on my ass;
And I let out a yell.
And I let out a yell.
“For when you were naughty,
that will suffice.
and now
here is something;
For when you’ve been nice.”
For when you’ve been nice.”
He grabbed my hips tight,
And his cock shot a pop.
I soon
came again;
begging please do not stop.
begging please do not stop.
His dick throbbed and squirted;
I thought I might scream.
Oh
the wonderful pleasure;
Of Santa’s hot cream!
Of Santa’s hot cream!
We collapsed on the floor,
His hands in my hair,
Then asleep
by the fire,
Without any care.
Without any care.
As he was leaving;
Before the sunlight.
“Oh my
darling;
You’re such a delight!”
You’re such a delight!”
Twats The Night Before Christmas.
by VeryHappyHubby.
Recited by Thomas.
Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block;
Nothing
was stirring, except for my cock.
Her panties were hung by the
Her panties were hung by the
chimney with care,
I had a good feeling she soon would be bare.
I had a good feeling she soon would be bare.
I was horny and naked all snug in my bed,
While visions of big
boobs danced in my head.
With the wife in her nightie, and I full
With the wife in her nightie, and I full
of luck,
I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck.
I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck.
When out by the hearth there arose such a noise,
It sounded
like girls and could not be boys.
Away to the Christmas tree I
Away to the Christmas tree I
flew in the nude,
We might have guests, I couldn’t be rude.
We might have guests, I couldn’t be rude.
Moonlight from the window cast a warm glow
And gave my firm
cock a good reason to grow;
When, what should appear through my
When, what should appear through my
old reading glasses,
But eight college girls, and their really
But eight college girls, and their really
firm asses,
With little shy giggles, so lively and quick,
I knew in a
moment they wanted my dick.
I was shocked then thought, they had
I was shocked then thought, they had
to be bluffing,
But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down
But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down
to nothing;
“I’m Dana I’m Heidi I’m Amber I’m
Shelly!
I’m Ali I’m Erin I’m Stephie I’m
I’m Ali I’m Erin I’m Stephie I’m
Nellie!
From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the
From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the
mall,
They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!”
They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!”
There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match,
My big
throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch;
So before me now
So before me now
stood, eight naked co-eds,
I was anxious to learn who would first
I was anxious to learn who would first
give me head;
And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick,
The rest
formed a line, as she gave me a lick.
Each girl sucked my cock, as
Each girl sucked my cock, as
I fondled her tits,
While each girl behind her all played with
While each girl behind her all played with
her clit.
My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch,
Said this
was from her, and she wanted to watch;
A sack full of toys she
A sack full of toys she
brought for the girls,
It was full of vibrators with one made of
It was full of vibrators with one made of
pearls
Their eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry!
Their
tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry!
The girls
The girls
grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor,
They pleasured each
They pleasured each
other, but all wanted more.
Each girl took a turn and came over to me,
They mounted my
cock by the light of the tree.
Some fucked me quite slow, and some
Some fucked me quite slow, and some
fucked me fast,
My biggest concern was how long I would last.
My biggest concern was how long I would last.
Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet,
I had
fucked them all but I wasn’t done yet.
With a wink of her
With a wink of her
eye and a squeeze of her breast,
My wife let me know that she
My wife let me know that she
would be next.
They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick,
and
watched how it’s done, as my wife worked my dick.
She
She
lowered her pussy right onto my rod,
We fucked and we fucked, as
We fucked and we fucked, as
I shot out my wad.
Of all the pussies my wife’s was the best,
My cock was
now tired and needed a rest.
With my wife still horny, and
With my wife still horny, and
claiming it’s early,
She climbed off of me, and reached for
She climbed off of me, and reached for
a girly.
She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple,
My smile was
so big and showed off my dimple.
She moved to their clits, and
She moved to their clits, and
then one by one,
Each girl did orgasm, until they were done.
Each girl did orgasm, until they were done.
With evry girl limp and could take nothing more,
They
eventually dressed and went for the door.
But I heard my wife
But I heard my wife
shout, ere they drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to
“Merry Christmas to
all, see you tomorrow night.”
Tinder Christmas Eve.
By Harry
D Newhouse Recited
by Michelle.
Twas the night before Christmas, nothing good
on TV.
So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie.
My kinky
So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie.
My kinky
companion, was up for some fun.
I sent him a message, to tell him
I sent him a message, to tell him
he’d won.
“Christmas gift wanted, I live all
alone.
No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone.
I want you
No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone.
I want you
to dress, in the robes of St Nick.
I’ve been very naughty,
I’ve been very naughty,
so don’t make it quick.
There’s a window unlocked, in the room at
the back.
It opens with ease, for you and your sack.
I’m
It opens with ease, for you and your sack.
I’m
off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty.
Oh and by the way, I can
Oh and by the way, I can
get a bit fighty!”
A mince pie and brandy were left on the
table.
Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you’re
Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you’re
able!’
Well imagine my shock, when later that night.
I’m
Well imagine my shock, when later that night.
I’m
rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight.
My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my
ear.
‘Santa’s here slut, and you’re going to pay
‘Santa’s here slut, and you’re going to pay
dear.’
I struggled beneath him, but couldn’t get
I struggled beneath him, but couldn’t get
free.
His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry.
His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry.
Was gagged by the stocking, I’d hung with
such pride.
Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side.
My
Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side.
My
night dress was lifted, my body left bare.
Face pushed in the
Face pushed in the
pillows, firm hand held my hair.
The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a
moan.
Spanked by a man, who’d invaded my home.
By the
Spanked by a man, who’d invaded my home.
By the
tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore.
If not for the
If not for the
stocking I’d be begging for more.
Many strikes later, he
Many strikes later, he
decided to rise.
I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs.
It
I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs.
It
seemed like forever, He toyed with me there.
Pain mixed with
Pain mixed with
pleasure, in well-practiced flair.
‘You’re such a bad girl, you
deserve only coal.
Now open your legs, and I’ll choose me a
Now open your legs, and I’ll choose me a
hole’.
Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise.
A
Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise.
A
wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes.
Removing his belt, pants fell to the
floor.
‘Here’s Santa’s north pole, now take it
‘Here’s Santa’s north pole, now take it
you whore!’
His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I
His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I
shuddered.
‘I’ll ruin you slut’, was all that he
‘I’ll ruin you slut’, was all that he
muttered.
Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and
pounded.
Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded.
A
Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded.
A
Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice.
We had many that night,
We had many that night,
and disturbed all the mice.
Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied.
He
He
reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride.
But before you
But before you
should ask, ‘was this only a dream?’
I awoke the next
I awoke the next
morning, to signs that I’ve seen.
A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy
glass.
And I knew it was real, from the
And I knew it was real, from the
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12 Bawdy Christmas Poems
Tonight we’re presenting some of our most beloved,
humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are
spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time.
Listen to the Podcast at Steamy
Stories.
The Black Knight Before Christmas.
by The
Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the
house
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse;
My
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse;
My
panties were hung on the bedpost with care,
As my fingers parted
As my fingers parted
my soft pussy hair.
My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed,
As visions of
huge cock danced in my head;
My tit in one hand, and squeezing my
My tit in one hand, and squeezing my
nip,
I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip.
I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip.
When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound,
I popped out my
fingers from my wet and hot mound;
And naked away, to the window I
And naked away, to the window I
dashed,
Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash.
Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash.
The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold,
Showed my smooth
white skin and red nipples so bold.
When, what to my wondering
When, what to my wondering
eyes should appear,
But William, our black neighbor, who I’ve
But William, our black neighbor, who I’ve
wanted all year,
With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick,
I knew in a
moment I’d found my hard dick.
While rubbing my pussy I
While rubbing my pussy I
suddenly came,
As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name;
As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name;
“Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen!
It’s
time that you knew what you’ve always been missin’!
From
From
the tip of my rod to the sack of my balls
I’ll make you
I’ll make you
forget your drunk husband, Paul!”
His words, they made my fantasies fly;
And I slid both my hands
between my wet thighs;
And started to spread and rub my bare
And started to spread and rub my bare
lips
Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick.
Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock,
And knew at the
front door awaited my cock.
I threw on my robe and sped down the
I threw on my robe and sped down the
stairs,
Hot for the stud who awaited me there.
Hot for the stud who awaited me there.
When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment;
Entered the
room and tore off my garment;
And dropped to his knees, put his
And dropped to his knees, put his
face in my snatch;
My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match.
My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match.
The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth,
His fingers he
rubbed on my slit just beneath;
I squeezed my huge tits, nipples
I squeezed my huge tits, nipples
dark as a cherry,
And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so
And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so
furry.
Hearing my breathing had become quite quick
He knew it was time
to show me his prick.
He pulled down his pants and exposed his
He pulled down his pants and exposed his
firm belly,
And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh,
And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh,
Billy!”
It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand;
When it slid in
my mouth, he barely could stand;
So a chair I soon found and gave
So a chair I soon found and gave
him a seat;
I straddled his cock and ground on his meat.
I straddled his cock and ground on his meat.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled
up my pussy, then came with a jerk,
And sliding his finger inside
And sliding his finger inside
of my ass,
I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp.
I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp.
I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor,
And licked the last
drops of cum like a whore.
And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth
And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth
on his rod,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good, oh,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good, oh,
oh my God!!!”
And To All A Good Lay.
by foehn.
Recited by Connor.
’Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers,
my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!”
You’d already laid down your stockings with care,
and
come to molest me in my easy chair.
The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last,
and now it
was “us” time; not slow, but not fast,
You unbuttoned
You unbuttoned
my britches and pulled my pants down,
and up sprang my elf with
and up sprang my elf with
his little pink crown.
He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic,
desiring
our session of love to be drastic.
Tenderly, gently caressing my
Tenderly, gently caressing my
shaft,
you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft!
you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft!
By flickering firelight, its head disappeared,
when all of a
sudden, the thing that I feared,
The most about Christmas Eve
The most about Christmas Eve
night came to pass,
as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his
as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his
ass.
Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air,
as Santa
jumped up with, a burning derriere.
I took in the view with a
I took in the view with a
wilting erection,
and wondered “What’s wrong with our
and wondered “What’s wrong with our
burglar detection?”
Santa was hopping and howling in hurt;
I pulled up your
favorite plant from its dirt,
And taking the pot, knocking over my
And taking the pot, knocking over my
rum,
I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum.
I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum.
The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed,
to think
that this Christmas, he well could have died;
And when he spied
And when he spied
you, collapsed naked and weeping,
I couldn’t help think,
I couldn’t help think,
that he shouldn’t be peeping.
When I recognized the odd look on his face,
I reminded him, he
had invaded our space.
“And now come to think of it, where
“And now come to think of it, where
are the toys?
“Surely you’ve brought some, for our
“Surely you’ve brought some, for our
little boys.”
I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket,
to cover your
butt with. (she wanted to spank it.)
He walked to the chimney,
He walked to the chimney,
and reaching within,
unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a
unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a
din.
“Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?”
He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing’s the matter,”
and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong,
he tossed you
a shiny new silicone dong.
He stashed the boys’ presents, all under the tree,
and
turning he gave me, a new DVD;
there were pictures of hot sexy,
there were pictures of hot sexy,
things on the case,
and one of them seemed to be wearing your
and one of them seemed to be wearing your
face!
He gave a big wink, walked right out the door.
I locked it
behind him and glanced at the floor.
where you looked so
where you looked so
peaceful, all comfy and bare.
beneath the big blanket, now
beneath the big blanket, now
covering you there.
I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side;
you were
already giving, your new dong a ride!
And what had gone limp from
And what had gone limp from
our rude interruption,
now perked up quite nicely, and stood at
now perked up quite nicely, and stood at
attention.
I reached for your free hand and guided it where;
it could find
my “north pole,” sticking out in the air.
and I heard
and I heard
Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh,
“Merry Christmas to
“Merry Christmas to
all, and to all a good lay!”
Her Night Before Christmas.
by Ug.
Recited by Natasha.
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house.
No
creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were worn
The stockings were worn
by the woman with care,
She’d too much to drink, passed out
She’d too much to drink, passed out
on the chair.
The woman who should have been snug in her bed,
the whiskey
and vodka, gone straight to her head.
And she lay there snoring,
And she lay there snoring,
empty glass on the floor,
so drunk came she in, she’d
so drunk came she in, she’d
forgotten the door.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Another drunk
wandering, home in a stagger.
To her door he did wander, and gave
To her door he did wander, and gave
it a push,
Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush.
Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush.
He spied a light on, in a room and did wander.
looked inside
the door, and hence he did ponder.
Now who was this woman,
Now who was this woman,
sitting there in his chair.
This woman with such sexy flowing
This woman with such sexy flowing
blonde hair.
He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake,
but the young
buxom woman, just wouldn’t awake.
He tried a bit harder,
He tried a bit harder,
and gave her a jostle.
which didn’t awake her, but made her
which didn’t awake her, but made her
breasts tossle.
The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver.
decided to cup
one, still she did not shiver.
Now with his right hand, he
Now with his right hand, he
slipped down her dress.
and finding her nipple, an interesting
and finding her nipple, an interesting
quest.
He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh.
and feeling
the silks, he pushed his hand high.
Over the stocking tops, onto
Over the stocking tops, onto
warm skin,
to her panties and under, his fingers sank in.
to her panties and under, his fingers sank in.
He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside.
and with his
free hand, then parted her thighs.
And moving between, her legs
And moving between, her legs
he did shove.
Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love.
Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love.
He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair,
His dick
found it’s way, through her pubic hair.
and into her pussy,
and into her pussy,
his dick did so slam.
then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly
then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly
ram.
He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved.
Her pussy felt
great, like a hot little glove.
She still was asleep, unaware of
She still was asleep, unaware of
the world,
so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl.
so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl.
He pushed her legs back, up over her head,
And deep in her
womb, his pulsing dick fed.
He started to grunt, whilst having
He started to grunt, whilst having
his fun.
Then into her belly, shot all of his cum.
Then into her belly, shot all of his cum.
He held himself still, til catching his breath,
and pulled out
his dick, his balls had none left.
He wiped off his cock, on the
He wiped off his cock, on the
hem of her dress,
and zipped himself up, though she was a mess.
and zipped himself up, though she was a mess.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door,
before
looking round, til he finally swore.
“Oh fuck” he
“Oh fuck” he
soon hissed, “this isn’t my home!”,
then crept
then crept
from the house, and left her alone.
He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so,
soon slipped on
some ice, and landed in snow.
But I heard him exclaim, passing
But I heard him exclaim, passing
out like a light,
“Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking
“Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking
good-night!”
T’was The Night Before Christmas.
by LostNlove.
Recited by Emily.
It was the night before Christmas;
And all through my
house.
The Candles were glowing;
And I was quite soused.
The Candles were glowing;
And I was quite soused.
The fire was warm;
And so was the brandy.
As I wrapped up
the gifts;
I was feeling quite randy.
I was feeling quite randy.
I sat in my nightie;
Short silky and white.
Hoping when
Santa showed;
He’d enjoy such a sight.
He’d enjoy such a sight.
Then top of the stairs;
I heard a deep groan.
It sounded
familiar;
I let out a moan.
I let out a moan.
I turned round to see;
And what do you know.
There stood my
Santa;
His shaft in a bow.
His shaft in a bow.
I saw that red ribbon;
Round that cock so hard.
And jumped
off the couch;
Without self regard.
Without self regard.
When he saw I was tipsy;
He laughed and came down.
I untied
that bow;
And wrapped my lips ‘round.
And wrapped my lips ‘round.
Oh, what a present!
I’m one happy wench.
I sucked it
then faster;
my nipples he pinched.
my nipples he pinched.
I rose to my feet;
L and licking my lips.
Then, held
mistletoe;
while he gave me a kiss.
while he gave me a kiss.
We moved to the couch
Where he laid me back.
And thrust in
his cock;
All the way to his sack.
All the way to his sack.
When my hips rocked he said;
Oh You like that I see.”
I
said,“Yes all though better;
On the floor on my knees.”
On the floor on my knees.”
“No problem my dear;
Anything that you wish.
But first
come here;
Give me one more kiss.”
Give me one more kiss.”
I kissed his lips softly;
Then I got on the floor.
He teased
so I begged;
“Santa please give me more.”
“Santa please give me more.”
He lifted my nightie;
Up over my ass.
As he gave it a
slap;
I let out a loud gasp.
I let out a loud gasp.
“I’ve watched you this year;
You’re so
naughty but nice.”
He shoved it in deep saying,
“Now,
He shoved it in deep saying,
“Now,
let’s do this twice!”
I slammed back against him,
As he slammed into me.
I didn’t
yet notice;
Rug burns on my knees.
Rug burns on my knees.
I moaned and I came;
my juices did flow.
he pounded yet
faster;
deep as he could go.
deep as he could go.
I came then again;
and convulsed quite a bit.
My fingers
pressed hard;
On my swollen clit.
On my swollen clit.
As I came I could feel;
His dick start to swell.
He smacked
on my ass;
And I let out a yell.
And I let out a yell.
“For when you were naughty,
that will suffice.
and now
here is something;
For when you’ve been nice.”
For when you’ve been nice.”
He grabbed my hips tight,
And his cock shot a pop.
I soon
came again;
begging please do not stop.
begging please do not stop.
His dick throbbed and squirted;
I thought I might scream.
Oh
the wonderful pleasure;
Of Santa’s hot cream!
Of Santa’s hot cream!
We collapsed on the floor,
His hands in my hair,
Then asleep
by the fire,
Without any care.
Without any care.
As he was leaving;
Before the sunlight.
“Oh my
darling;
You’re such a delight!”
You’re such a delight!”
Twats The Night Before Christmas.
by VeryHappyHubby.
Recited by Thomas.
Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block;
Nothing
was stirring, except for my cock.
Her panties were hung by the
Her panties were hung by the
chimney with care,
I had a good feeling she soon would be bare.
I had a good feeling she soon would be bare.
I was horny and naked all snug in my bed,
While visions of big
boobs danced in my head.
With the wife in her nightie, and I full
With the wife in her nightie, and I full
of luck,
I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck.
I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck.
When out by the hearth there arose such a noise,
It sounded
like girls and could not be boys.
Away to the Christmas tree I
Away to the Christmas tree I
flew in the nude,
We might have guests, I couldn’t be rude.
We might have guests, I couldn’t be rude.
Moonlight from the window cast a warm glow
And gave my firm
cock a good reason to grow;
When, what should appear through my
When, what should appear through my
old reading glasses,
But eight college girls, and their really
But eight college girls, and their really
firm asses,
With little shy giggles, so lively and quick,
I knew in a
moment they wanted my dick.
I was shocked then thought, they had
I was shocked then thought, they had
to be bluffing,
But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down
But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down
to nothing;
“I’m Dana I’m Heidi I’m Amber I’m
Shelly!
I’m Ali I’m Erin I’m Stephie I’m
I’m Ali I’m Erin I’m Stephie I’m
Nellie!
From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the
From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the
mall,
They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!”
They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!”
There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match,
My big
throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch;
So before me now
So before me now
stood, eight naked co-eds,
I was anxious to learn who would first
I was anxious to learn who would first
give me head;
And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick,
The rest
formed a line, as she gave me a lick.
Each girl sucked my cock, as
Each girl sucked my cock, as
I fondled her tits,
While each girl behind her all played with
While each girl behind her all played with
her clit.
My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch,
Said this
was from her, and she wanted to watch;
A sack full of toys she
A sack full of toys she
brought for the girls,
It was full of vibrators with one made of
It was full of vibrators with one made of
pearls
Their eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry!
Their
tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry!
The girls
The girls
grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor,
They pleasured each
They pleasured each
other, but all wanted more.
Each girl took a turn and came over to me,
They mounted my
cock by the light of the tree.
Some fucked me quite slow, and some
Some fucked me quite slow, and some
fucked me fast,
My biggest concern was how long I would last.
My biggest concern was how long I would last.
Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet,
I had
fucked them all but I wasn’t done yet.
With a wink of her
With a wink of her
eye and a squeeze of her breast,
My wife let me know that she
My wife let me know that she
would be next.
They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick,
and
watched how it’s done, as my wife worked my dick.
She
She
lowered her pussy right onto my rod,
We fucked and we fucked, as
We fucked and we fucked, as
I shot out my wad.
Of all the pussies my wife’s was the best,
My cock was
now tired and needed a rest.
With my wife still horny, and
With my wife still horny, and
claiming it’s early,
She climbed off of me, and reached for
She climbed off of me, and reached for
a girly.
She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple,
My smile was
so big and showed off my dimple.
She moved to their clits, and
She moved to their clits, and
then one by one,
Each girl did orgasm, until they were done.
Each girl did orgasm, until they were done.
With evry girl limp and could take nothing more,
They
eventually dressed and went for the door.
But I heard my wife
But I heard my wife
shout, ere they drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to
“Merry Christmas to
all, see you tomorrow night.”
Tinder Christmas Eve.
By Harry
D Newhouse Recited
by Michelle.
Twas the night before Christmas, nothing good
on TV.
So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie.
My kinky
So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie.
My kinky
companion, was up for some fun.
I sent him a message, to tell him
I sent him a message, to tell him
he’d won.
“Christmas gift wanted, I live all
alone.
No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone.
I want you
No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone.
I want you
to dress, in the robes of St Nick.
I’ve been very naughty,
I’ve been very naughty,
so don’t make it quick.
There’s a window unlocked, in the room at
the back.
It opens with ease, for you and your sack.
I’m
It opens with ease, for you and your sack.
I’m
off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty.
Oh and by the way, I can
Oh and by the way, I can
get a bit fighty!”
A mince pie and brandy were left on the
table.
Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you’re
Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you’re
able!’
Well imagine my shock, when later that night.
I’m
Well imagine my shock, when later that night.
I’m
rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight.
My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my
ear.
‘Santa’s here slut, and you’re going to pay
‘Santa’s here slut, and you’re going to pay
dear.’
I struggled beneath him, but couldn’t get
I struggled beneath him, but couldn’t get
free.
His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry.
His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry.
Was gagged by the stocking, I’d hung with
such pride.
Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side.
My
Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side.
My
night dress was lifted, my body left bare.
Face pushed in the
Face pushed in the
pillows, firm hand held my hair.
The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a
moan.
Spanked by a man, who’d invaded my home.
By the
Spanked by a man, who’d invaded my home.
By the
tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore.
If not for the
If not for the
stocking I’d be begging for more.
Many strikes later, he
Many strikes later, he
decided to rise.
I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs.
It
I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs.
It
seemed like forever, He toyed with me there.
Pain mixed with
Pain mixed with
pleasure, in well-practiced flair.
‘You’re such a bad girl, you
deserve only coal.
Now open your legs, and I’ll choose me a
Now open your legs, and I’ll choose me a
hole’.
Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise.
A
Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise.
A
wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes.
Removing his belt, pants fell to the
floor.
‘Here’s Santa’s north pole, now take it
‘Here’s Santa’s north pole, now take it
you whore!’
His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I
His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I
shuddered.
‘I’ll ruin you slut’, was all that he
‘I’ll ruin you slut’, was all that he
muttered.
Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and
pounded.
Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded.
A
Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded.
A
Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice.
We had many that night,
We had many that night,
and disturbed all the mice.
Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied.
He
He
reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride.
But before you
But before you
should ask, ‘was this only a dream?’
I awoke the next
I awoke the next
morning, to signs that I’ve seen.
A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy
glass.
And I knew it was real, from the
And I knew it was real, from the
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