This is the abridged version of our 12 guidelines for tough conversations we presented live at Sha'arei Shalom on July 4, 2020.  

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Here is the list:  

1. Pursuing truth is a greater goal than merely proving your point. 

2. “Assume that the person you are listening to knows something you don't." - Dr. Jordan Peterson 

3. Seek to understand before being understood.  

4. Understand that feeling uncomfortable is often a good sign.  

5. Know that you can passionately hold to an opinion while still listening,  understanding, and being open to the contrary. 

6. Do not assume anything about your conversation partner’s moral character or intellectual position based on hearsay or stereotypes. Listen to the individual, it's nearly guaranteed they do not fully live up to their stereotype. 

7. Recognize that everyone has biases and pointing out their bias does not make them wrong. 

8. Remember that talking is thinking. 

9. Understand how easy it is to be wrong. 

10. Know that admitting you are wrong is not a display of weakness, but of courage. 

11. State what you believe as precisely as possible. 

12. Communicate what you believe to be true in love.  

Original video - 12 Guidelines for Tough Conversations: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJU2s... 

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12 Guidelines for Tough Conversations: Abridged