If you’ve been following along with the six-step boundaries clarifier process, you’ve already created a boundary and taken action. But there’s still one more step: evaluating how things went to see what (if anything) went wrong and whether you need to work through the process again.

Resolving any problems that occurred during the boundary-setting process involves identifying the reason why things went wrong. In this episode, I’ll go over various types of problems (from unsuccessful boundary creation to broken agreements) and offer guidance on how to move forward from each of them.

 

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #12:

• This step isn’t always necessary. If you had the power to create a boundary and did so successfully, or created an agreement successfully, you’re done!

• If you were unsuccessful because you didn’t follow through or successfully create an agreement, the solution is simple: recommit to taking the action in step 5. Telling someone else what you intend to do may help, because it creates accountability.

• If the problem resulted from a misunderstood agreement between you and another person, the solution is to revise and review your agreements, ensuring that they’re clear, specific, and measurable. For example, instead of agreeing to save “more money,” specify a dollar amount.

Highlights from Episode #12:

Victoria welcomes listeners to the sixth and final episode in the series about the 6-Step Boundaries Clarifier process. [00:31]

We hear a quick recap of the first five steps of the process, and learn that step six, the subject of this episode, isn’t always necessary. [01:51]

Victoria offers some examples of reasons why a boundary may not be successful. [04:25]

The first solution relates to boundaries in which you didn’t follow through successfully in step 5. [06:19]

What if you thought you had a clear agreement, but the other person had a different understanding? [09:18]

Victoria talks about what to do if there’s an unsuccessful boundary when one or both people broke an agreement. [11:58]

We learn about how to handle simple situations of the other person having no buy-in to the agreement they made. [15:43]

Victoria sums up the four options for what to do when a boundary isn’t successful, and talks about why you may choose to do nothing. [16:46]

Ask yourself these three questions before you decide to do nothing after an unsuccessful boundary or a broken agreement. [19:55]

We hear three pro tips for working through this step. [22:04]

Victoria sums up the topics she has covered today and invites listeners to follow the show to get notified about new episodes, and to check out her new book Personal Boundaries for Dummies. [23:28]

 

Links and Resources:

• Personal Boundaries For Dummies on Amazon

• Victoria Priya

• 6-Step Boundaries Clarifier FREE eWorkbook

• Boundaries Queen Podcast Episode 7: Step 1: Start With Knowing What Isn’t Working

• Boundaries Queen Podcast Episode 8: Step 2: Get Clear about Your Reality

• Pia Mellody