Meredyth with a Why

121: Internalizers and Externalizers


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This is the latest episode in this series on emotional immaturity, and I recommend going back and listening to the first four episodes if you haven’t yet.

 

Do you know someone who blames everyone but themselves when something goes wrong? Or maybe you know someone who puts too much blame on themselves, taking responsibility for something that isn’t their fault. You likely relate to one of these descriptions, and if you’re listening to this podcast, I’m betting it’s the latter.

In today’s episode, I’m talking about externalizers (who blame others for everything) and internalizers (who put too much blame on themselves) as discussed in Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. I’m sharing typical ways to recognize both emotional types as well how emotionally immature parents play into the equation.

What you’ll find in this episode:

Why externalizers struggle to deal with anything going on inside of them and blame the outside world for everything

How internalizers take everything on themselves and don’t ask for help

How to find balance of the two, and how under the right conditions, each type can exhibit characteristics of the other

My experience as an internalizer, and why I believe it’s so difficult for internalizers to seek intimate connection with externalizers

What it’s like for an internalizer to be raised by an externalizer parent

Why people see externalizing as a behavioral issue instead of an emotional one

Get full show notes, resources, and links on my website!

Are you ready to go deeper? I am giving you the keys to the castle. If you enjoyed this podcast and want to hear more, make sure to subscribe so you’ll never miss an episode! You can connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok or Youtube.

 

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Meredyth with a WhyBy Meredyth Willits

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