Midlife AF Podcast

#123 Rise AF

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In this episode, I guide you through my “Rise” framework for changing your relationship with alcohol. We explore why your drinking is never about “willpower” or “moral failure” and is almost always about unmet needs, nervous system overwhelm, and outdated beliefs you’ve carried for years. I share how grounding, visualisation, and gentle self‑inquiry can help your brain feel safer with change, so you’re not constantly “white‑knuckling it” around booze.

I walk you through core concepts I use in my programs - like curiosity over judgment, understanding dopamine and why we chase it, building a compelling vision for an alcohol‑light life, and using awareness tools instead of shame. We also talk about the power of immersion (podcasts, books, social media), why community is so vital, and how to start making a practical plan that fits your real life - not some perfect, imaginary version of you.

Throughout, I share stories from clients who’ve gone from anxious, exhausted and stuck to feeling grounded, self‑trusting and genuinely indifferent to alcohol - more like a “cheese sandwich” than a magical elixir. If you’re a midlife woman (especially neurodivergent like me) who’s drinking more than you want to and is tired of feeling like the problem, this conversation offers a kinder, more compassionate way forward.

Key Takeaways

  • I always start with grounding (breath, body awareness, connection to the earth) because getting out of your head and into your body makes change feel safer to your nervous system.
  • You are not your thoughts; you are the thinker of your thoughts - this gives you space to question old stories about alcohol, yourself and the world.
  • Many women drink more than they want to because nobody says “thank you,” “well done,” or “good job” - booze becomes a shortcut to relief and recognition.
  • My work is about taking a break from taking a break - stepping out of judgment and resistance and into curiosity and inquiry rather than focusing only on stopping.
  • We examine three levels of belief:
    Beliefs about the substance (alcohol itself)
    Beliefs about society (what’s “normal,” social expectations)
    Beliefs about self (worthiness, competence, identity)
  • Dopamine isn’t a moral issue; it’s biology. We’re wired to seek it, and alcohol gives us an unearned, easy hit, which can distort how good we think it is.
  • Craving is usually your body saying “I’m not okay”, not that you’re weak - often it’s about tiredness, loneliness, overwhelm, social anxiety, or people‑pleasing.
  • Alcohol is almost always a solution to a problem, not the problem itself. Until we understand the underlying need, change won’t stick.
  • Awareness worksheets and mindful tracking turn “slip‑ups” into data points, so we can ask: What happened? What was I feeling? What did I really need?
  • Self‑compassion is non‑negotiable: I ask, “What would I say to me if I were someone I loved?”-especially when things don’t go to plan.
  • Visualisation tools like the North Star exercise help your brain feel safer, because it gets a clear picture of what an alcohol‑light day could actually look and feel like.
  • Our culture gives alcohol a huge amount of power; I want you to feel about booze the way you do about a cheese sandwich - neutral, take‑it‑or‑leave‑it.
  • We’re taught that being alcohol‑free is boring and miserable; in reality, for many women it’s a massive upgrade in energy, joy, and self‑respect.
  • Immersion works: podcasts, “quit‑lit,” and social media accounts that reflect your values can rewire your beliefs and show you what’s possible.
  • Don’t go to Bunnings for milk - talk about your alcohol journey with people who get it and won’t minimise, shame, or sabotage you.
  • There is no “failure” in my methodology - only learning. The only “fail” is disappearing and not coming back to look at what happened.
  • “Maybe” about drinking is almost always a yes. Setting a clear intention for the day around alcohol is far more powerful than vague hopes.
  • Change involves choosing your hard: the discomfort of staying stuck versus the discomfort of growth and honest self‑reflection.
  • You were never broken; this work is not about fixing you, it’s about understanding your conditioning so you can choose differently.
  • Support and community are essential. We’re not meant to do this alone, and shame thrives in isolation but dissolves in safe, validating spaces.

    • 👉The 3-Day End of Jan Alcohol Reset - Reconnect · Rewire · Rise
    FREE - My Back to School Gift To You
    27th-29th January 2026
    Live on zoom https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82540254435 or in Midlife AF Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AmoBDBtzB/  or at 6 PM Melbourne - AEDT

    To join live register here https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset 

    Once registered you can access the replays, resources and work books in the RESET Hub link is here https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/jan-3-day-reset-hub

    👉The Link For the 30 Day Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - Starting Monday Feb 2nd 2026 is:  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

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    Midlife AF PodcastBy Emma Gilmour