Happy holidays to you, and welcome to another evening with Reverend Ben and Donald. This week it's all about the true meaning of Christmas. Learn all the stuff you really need to know, like how sometimes you just have to immediately kill things, and how 'swaddling clothes' are really just a diaper for a cow.

Everything you expect for Christmas is right here. Beef-scented haystacks, shepherds who go to Tall School, Apple Cobra Oil. All of the standard stuff.

And if you are so inclined upon receiving this holiday testimony, stop by twitter and say hi. We won't bite. It's the internet, that's impossible. For now.